Courtship Forum

Category: COURTSHIP

  • Journey with Me

    Journey with Me

    Hello oOoOO. Let me welcome you to 2026.

    It shall be our year of divine progress, speed and goodness.

    To start with, thank you for being here with throughout the last year and I am appreciative of your presence this year too.

    Let’s Journey Together.

    This year, We will be doing many amazing things together. First is 100 Psalms In A year on my YouTube Channel, The House of J&V.

    Psalm of the Day | 100 Psalms in a Year by House of J&V | Video 1 dropped today

    This video is part of our 100 Psalms in a Year journey, where we read and reflect on selected Psalms throughout the year to strengthen our faith, build godly homes, and draw closer to God.

    You can watch the video here:



    If you’re looking for daily encouragement, scripture reading, and faith-centred family content, you’re in the right place.
    👉 Subscribe to the channel and join us as we grow together in faith.
    📅 See you on the next Psalm upload.
    Welcome to the family. Welcome to the House of J&V.

    Second, expect more books from me as I sought God for a word for our relationship and live. But in the meantime, you can check my Amazon store to buy existing ebooks.

    Once, Happy New Year.

  • Welcome to House of J&V — Our New Beginning!

    Welcome to House of J&V — Our New Beginning!

    Dear friends, family, and beloved readers,

    I am beyond excited to introduce to you my latest God-inspired journey — House of J&V!

    Join Victoria and I, every week on our YouTube channel as we shared our marital journey via House of J&V


    Why House of J&V?
    Because we believe that marriage is blissful — when Christ is at the center.

    We’ve cried. We’ve laughed. We’ve prayed. We have fought. We have won. And now, we’re creating a space to share it all — not just the polished moments, but the real, raw, and redemptive ones.

    House of J&V is our online family where faith meets fun, where biblical truth meets real talk, and where singles, young couples like us, parents, and the soon-to-wed can find love, encouragement, and hope.

    House of J&V want to tell you that you are not the only one passing through the relationship challenges. You are neither the first nor the last


    🎥 What You Can Expect

    We’ll be sharing content across:


    📖 Devotionals & family prayers

    💍 Marriage & relationship insights

    👶 Faith-based parenting tips

    🙌 Testimonies, stories, and laughter

    ❌❌ Our mistakes and errors

    🎥 On YouTube and TikTok, with occasional drops on our Facebook pages
    We are building a digital home that blesses hearts and strengthens homes.

    📌 Join Us!

    Subscribe to our YouTube channel: House of J&V

    Follow us on TikTok: @HouseOfJandV

    Together, let’s prove that with Christ, love still works. Marriage still stands. Homes still thrive.

    Welcome to the House of J&V 🏡
    We’re so glad you’re here.

  • 5 Relationship Lessons from Chelsea’s Club World Cup Triumph

    5 Relationship Lessons from Chelsea’s Club World Cup Triumph

    Chelsea winning the first edition of the expanded Club World Cup tournament against PSG is not news anymore.
    They are going to hold that trophy 🏆 for the next four years — but more than the celebration and the headlines, there are powerful relationship lessons hidden in that football victory.


    1. Your Relationship Choice Affects Future Generations

    Chelsea played in the 2025 Club World Cup because the 2021 squad won the UEFA Champions League. Guess what? Only two players from that team are still in the current squad — yet, they’re benefitting from the decisions of the past.

    Likewise, the choice of your life partner goes beyond today.
    You are not just choosing a spouse — you are choosing a co-parent.
    Your children, your home, your legacy — all will feel the impact of who you choose.

    Genes and values run deep.


    2. Don’t Be Afraid to Start Afresh
    After winning the Champions League, Chelsea went through:

    A transfer ban
    Ownership change
    Firing and hiring of four coaches
    Rebuilding a squad from scratch

    They signed and sold players. They experimented. But in all this, they were never afraid of rebuilding. Why? Because the best is born through change.

    In relationships too, don’t cling to someone just because of time spent.
    Don’t be afraid to break off and start again.
    The “better” may have to step aside so the “best” can come.


    3. You’re Not in Courtship to Impress Anyone
    Before the tournament, analysts and fans wrote Chelsea off.
    Did Chelsea fight them on Twitter?
    Did they argue with bookies or trend on social media?

    No. They simply showed up and played their game.

    Your courtship should never be to live anyone’s dreams, aspirations and experiences. Custom-made your relationship for God’s glory. 


    Stop trying to impress the crowd — live to please God.
    Let your courtship glorify Him, not Instagram algorithms or friend group expectations.


    4. Long-term Sacrifice Pays Off
    Chelsea didn’t win by luck. It was a culmination of years of discipline — from recruitment to training to staying focused through a long season.

    In relationships, you may not “win” instantly. But with faith, patience, prayer, and effort, your investment in each other will pay off.

    Just like Chelsea, your relationship must endure seasons of growth, pressure, and restructuring — until victory comes.


    5. You Need the Right Coach and a Shared Game Plan

    Chelsea’s new coach had only spent 12 months with the squad, yet they succeeded. Why? Because they shared a clear vision and executed it as a team.

    In your courtship, you don’t just need love — you need:

    Godly counsel (a spiritual “coach”)

    Mutual purpose (a shared game plan)

    Willingness to play your roles
    Don’t just vibe. Align.


    You both must be submitted to God’s plan for your relationship.

    This is not just about football. It’s about your future.

    Like Chelsea, your choice of partner, your willingness to rebuild, and your refusal to impress others will determine whether you lift the trophy — or sit on the sidelines of life.

  • Bitterness in Singleness, Chaos in Courtship

    Sade had always been bitter — even before Cole came into the picture. She was constantly complaining. Always moody. Frequently dissatisfied with life for no clear reason.

    When she met Cole, their relationship quickly became a cycle of bickering, nagging, and emotional unrest.
    She never stopped reminding Cole of his inadequacies — real or imagined.

    But here’s the thing:
    Cole was actually trying.

    He treated her with respect.
    He never shut her down.
    He helped pay some of her bills, bought her thoughtful gifts, and was committed to growth.

    Still, Sade remained bitter. Unhappy. Always frowning. Always frustrated.

    Eventually, Cole walked away — not because he hated her, but because he realised something deep:



    “Doing life with an ungrateful, unhappy and bitter person is a journey of torment.”

    A toxic single life will only produce a toxic relationship — and eventually, a toxic marriage.

    Courtship won’t make you happy.
    Marriage won’t fix your bitterness.

    If you’re not whole before love comes, love won’t magically make you whole.

    Why It Matters:

    1. Humans are not your source of joy.
    Only God is — and should be. No one can carry the burden of your unhappiness.


    2. If you’re emotionally unstable, you’ll project it.
    Your pain, fear, and insecurity will land on someone who simply wants to love you — and it will crush them.


    Therefore, live before you plan to live with someone else.
    Become whole in God, find joy in your own journey — then share that joy with someone, instead of making them responsible for it.

  • When Red Flags Are Loud in Courtship

    When Red Flags Are Loud in Courtship

    Single sisters, let’s talk.

    There’s a growing pattern of defending the obvious — even when the red flags are slapping harder than the brother himself.

    You’ll hear things like:

    • “He’s born again but he’s asking for my nudes… Can I still marry him?”
    • “He’s born again, but he drinks one or two bottles… Is it bad?”
    • “He flirts with other ladies, but he’s caring. What should I do?”
    • “He slapped me twice because I made him angry… I don’t want to lose him 😅”
    • “He’s born again but doesn’t go to church.”


    Ah ah! My sister, who born am again?🤷🤷


    And many more radarada justifications like that.

    But let’s be honest — if you trace the root of most of these excuses, it’s usually because:

    • He buys data
    • He pays for your pad
    • He orders you food
    • He sends you urgent 2k


    So, out of pressure, you start building tolerance for things that your spirit already knows is wrong.

    Hard Truth:

    If a particular behaviour is bothering you now — abort mission!
    Marriage doesn’t hide red flags, it magnifies them.

    Don’t mistake provision for character.
    Don’t confuse gifts for godliness.
    Don’t call brokenness “love” because he’s doing boyfriend charity.

    🗣️ To Every Single Sister:

    If it’s a red flag now, it will be a blazing banner in marriage.
    Run early. Abort mission. Save your soul and your destiny.

  • Signs That They’re Not the One

    Signs That They’re Not the One

    Signs They’re Not the One: A Christian’s Guide to Discernment in Courtship



    By now, as a Christian, you should know that not everyone out there is for you. You’re only permitted to marry one of the good ones — the one who aligns with God’s purpose for your life.

    That’s why discernment is essential. No matter how many butterflies are in your stomach, some people simply aren’t “the one.”

    Here are key warning signs that reveal when someone is not the person God has prepared for you — even if they look good on paper.

    1. The Narcissist

    You are a masterpiece — a unique design shaped by God’s hand. Though you may have flaws, you’re still precious in His sight.

    But what does a narcissist see? A nobody.

    If someone constantly belittles you or ignores your value, they are not for you. Never settle for someone who speaks less of you than your Creator does.

    2. The One You Have to Beg for Communication

    Communication is the engine oil of courtship.

    If you’re always the one:

    • Calling
    • Texting
    • Checking in
    • Asking questions

    …then it’s a one-way street. Nobody is too busy for someone they truly care about. If you’re begging for basic attention, this person is not your God-ordained partner.

    3. The One You Do All the Loving For

    Love should be mutual. If you’re the only one doing all the emotional heavy lifting, you haven’t found the one.

    Marriage is a covenant, not a charity mission. If you’re already overworking emotionally in courtship, how will you cope in marriage?

    4. The Unkind Person

    It’s not just about how they treat you. Look deeper.

    How do they treat those with no power over them?

    • The doorkeeper
    • The waitress
    • The elderly
    • The poor
    • The disabled

    That’s who they really are. The way they treat the vulnerable is a preview of how they will treat you when you’re weak or in need.

    5. The One Who Rejects Christian Family Values

    Not all who call themselves Christians accept biblical family structures.

    If someone doesn’t believe in God’s design for the home — servant leadership, Christ-like love, mutual respect, spiritual alignment — they are not fit to build with you.

    Why start something that’s already misaligned with God’s will?

    6. The Abuser of Anything

    Whether it’s:

    • Power
    • Grace
    • Money
    • Alcohol
    • Access to others

    Abuse in one area will eventually affect others. Don’t assume you’ll be the exception. You may be the next victim.

    Conclusion: Come Correct, Not Perfect

    Yes, nobody is perfect — but as Christians, we should come correct.

    Let wisdom guide you. Don’t throw your pearls before pigs (Matthew 7:6). Know your worth in Christ and discern who is worthy of walking life’s path with you.

    📖 Relevant Bible References:

    • Matthew 7:6 – “Do not give what is holy to dogs…”
    • Proverbs 4:7 – “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom.”


    Tags: christian-courtship-red-flags, godly-relationship-discernment, christian-dating-advice, choosing-a-spouse-wisely, communication-in-relationships, narcissism-in-marriage, biblical-courtship-values

  • Dear Christian Brother, abeg!!!

    Dear Christian Brother, abeg!!!

    Choosing with Conviction: A Christian Brother’s Honest Reflection on Courtship Standards

    Category: Christian Living / Courtship & Marriage / Faith & Values

    In today’s Christian circles, especially within African communities, relationship expectations have become a mix of conviction, culture, and confusion. Too often, men enter relationships with women they secretly hope to change, instead of choosing partners who already align with their values.

    This personal reflection highlights the need for clarity, honesty, and conviction in choosing a life partner—particularly for Christian brothers navigating courtship.

    A Personal Journey of Conviction

    When I wanted to marry, I determined in my heart that the woman for me would be from Ogbomoso, a Baptist who uses make-up (though my wife hardly uses it herself) and doesn’t see trousers as a mortal sin.

    And that was what I went for aside from other qualities.

    Now I didn’t see a non-Ogbomoso, non-Baptist, who doesn’t use make-up or wear trousers and asked her for marriage and asked her to be all that.

    Is my wife the only one who must meet those criteria? How can it be the only one, when there are thousands of ladies like that?

    This shows a key truth: there’s no need to compromise personal values or try to convert someone to fit your picture of an ideal spouse when there are plenty who already do.

    A Word to Christian Brothers

    I believe it is time for us, Christian brothers, to stop all this childish behaviour.

    You saw her wearing trousers.
    You know she uses make-up.
    You are very much informed that she wears jewellery.
    Abi you knew she doesn’t wear all these things.

    You are aware that her church permitted those things that your church called sin (things which are not sin but a matter of choice).

    You knew all these, despite a lot of ladies in your domain who fit your agenda, yet you went for a trouser and jewellery wearing sister, and you are pressuring and gaslighting an innocent sister.

    Some of you, are even using submission 😀😀 to gaslighting an innocent sister?

    Submission in marriage was never meant to be a tool for manipulation or spiritual abuse. We must move away from this unchristlike tendency.

    Choose from Conviction, Not Control

    There are always one or two things to compromise but let it be from the place of personal conviction.

    So, brother, wrap it up, there are plenty of ladies out there who fit your description of a wife.

    The time you will be using to discuss those things will be better used discussing better things.

    I hope you understand me. If you do share, like and comment your opinion on this?

    Bible References for Reflection

    • Amos 3:3 (KJV) – “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
    • Proverbs 18:22 (NIV) – “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
    • 1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) – “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…”
    • Romans 14:5 (NLT) – “Let each be fully convinced in their own mind.”
    • Colossians 3:19 (NIV) – “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

    Conclusion: Let Wisdom Lead

    This honest piece is a call to maturity, sincerity, and intentionality. It reminds us that relationships should not be mission fields, but unions of agreement and shared conviction. Christian brothers, if you desire certain values in a spouse, seek those values genuinely—don’t demand transformation from someone who never agreed to change.

    What are your thoughts on this? Share them in the comments below. Let’s grow in wisdom and love together.

  • 7 Signs That Should Make You Pray That Your Courtship Should Not Lead to Marriage.

    7 Signs That Should Make You Pray That Your Courtship Should Not Lead to Marriage.

    Courtship is the dress rehearsal for your marriage, and how you do it will tell a lot about how your marital experiences will look.

    But the signs are always obvious right from courtship, and here are 7 of them;



    1. You spent time discussing submission in marriage. There is no week in your relationship that you don’t have that conversation.



    2. Over communication: any person who is ready to talk to you for 24 hours is a jobless and purposeless entity.



    Dear sister, don’t let any jobless man convince you that a man needs 24 hours of speaking and talking to prove love.



    3. Under communication: if all that you talked about in about two years of courtship is, ‘how are you’, ‘have you eaten’, ‘what is your favourite colour’, ‘who is your favourite musician, bla bla bla, every eke market. My brother, you have not started ooooo. You are still playing.



    4. If you have to prove it. If you have to pass a test. If you have to show the workings that you are the one, after she/he has agreed to be with you. Brethren, if e didn’t dey, e didn’t dey nani and two, true love will not whyne you.

    If you pass the test now, how many more are you going to do to qualify as a spouse, as a parent, as a daughter/son-in-law or even as a human being?



    5. You argue about anything and everything. You have never agreed on anything in your courtship life except an agreement to marry one another.

    If you disagree on anything and everything, how then do you plan to walk and work?



    6. The person is unattractive to you. Granted, everything created by God is good, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we shouldn’t choose by sight, but my dear,  marriage is so long and so personal to be doing it with someone that is repulsive to you.

    How do you plan on marrying someone whose physicality has never elicit a positive response from you saved hiss and dejection?

    If he is repulsive to you. Leaver her, there is a someone who thinks she/he has found his/her own Miss or Mr. World.

    7. If her/his  people hate you. Marriage is long, stressful and delicate than be doing it with unavoidable enemies, hatred, and suspicion.

    If they hate you, leave their son and daughter for them.

    May God deliver you from problematic courtship in Jesus name

  • 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Have Nudes on Your Phone.

    5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Have Nudes on Your Phone.

    To start with, a reasonable person will never have his/her nudes or any other person’s, on their devices, let alone sending them to someone. Let alone that such a reasonable person is a Christian.

    Number one, no man who loves you will ask for nudes.


    Call him any names – husband, boyfriend, teacher, pastor, et cetera. No man who claims he loves you will demand such.

    If he wants to see your nakedness, let him go and pay your bride price and then come home to behold the real thing.

    Secondly, nothing is safe on your phone. It could be hacked, stolen, lost, or found in the hands of despicable ones. Imagine you, a so-called Queen or King, dancing nakedly in the market square. God forbids.

    Thirdly, some sins and mistakes have the potential to permanently destroy your destiny and God’s plan for your life. One of such is the subject matter. See, if you are NFA (No future ambition), you can register on OnlyFans and blow away your destiny, but if you know for sure you have something to offer your generation, don’t dare.

    Another reason is that the internet never forgets. The Internet never forgives. Why create shame and reproach for your generation?

    And lastly, Christians don’t have nudes on their phones.

    Christians don’t request nudes.

    Christians don’t send nudes.

    For we have been redeemed at a price,  so we have to glorify our bodies with Christ.

    Thanks for reading, and make sure you share, comment and like this.

  • I am serious vexed!

    I am serious vexed!

    I am angry. 😡😡

    Seriously, I dey vex. 😡😡😡

    Senior G.As and Lydias!
    R.As!
    New wife gang!
    Youth fellowships!
    Ladies and gentlemen!

    How many things did I call you guys?

    Na one time each. No come give me bobo, my dear.

    You, guys need to fix up.

    You need to act up.

    You need to do better!

    The Bible you received at the completion of your G.A steps, where you did you keep it?

    I command yo to bring it out in Jesus name for our Evangelism Outreach.

    Aunty Lydia, the purple merchant, I need your Completion of Step Bible. Oya release it in Jesus name.


    Iyawo, ‘yawo 😍😍, happy married life but I know you have a Bible before you married, the new ones presented during intro and Bible, give us one pleaseeeee!

    Even if it that Gideon Bible, we go will gladly accept it!

    My bestie, my bestie! Iro lasan, bestie level… Besties that can’t jointly donate Bible toward advancement of God’s Kingdom, is that one a bestie?

    Youth fellowships, the President of the association needs a Bible from you.

    Ambassadors should not think I will exempt them, use this month allowance that you use to give your girlfriend to buy us a Bible. If not, she will leave you.

    I’m in my room, you can’t beat me.

    If you are led, whether in cash or kind, please WhatsApp/call/palmpay Alade Joel on 08135446603

    Forget my opening lines, I just use them to catch your attention. I am vex oooo.

    I love you!

    Like. Share. Invite

  • Short or Long Courtship?



    Scene 1: After two months of marriage, these new couples are filing for divorce. No fight. No new bad discovery. No irreconcilable difference but genotype incompatibility.

    Something that ₦2500 worth of test can prevent.

    If you probed further, they courted for 3 years and above.

    Scene 2: I met my wife for the first time ever on 7th May, asked her out and got Yes same day. Picked wedding date 24 hours after, and got married 3 months minus 3 days after.

    By the end of week 1 of our courtship, all major discussion has been settled. Today, We are in blissful marriage by the grace of God to His glory alone.

    Dear, I will never advised you to do as I do but I can assure you that there’s nothing you want to know in a potential partner that you can’t know between 3 – 6 months or at max, 1 year.

    In fact, dear sister, a man know if you are wife worthy to him from the first day of meeting you.

    Instead of wasting your time, doing, ‘have you eaten,’ ‘how was your day,’ everyday, ask intentional questions.

    First hour of asking out, genotype issue should be already a settled affair.

    By week 4, belief system of each partner should be known so that edgy areas can be smoothened on time. Make e no shock you that, though your husband is a Baptist, he doesn’t believe in tithing first month in marriage.



    By third month of your relationship, issues like numbers of kid, where to  live after wedding, in-laws, etc., should be agreed on already.

    No dey think because you grow up in the same area, denomination, you go dey think alike for marriage.

    Short or long courtship ❌❌

    Intentional Courtship ✅✅

    6 – 20 months of intentional Courtship is okay.

    Advantage is that no one time and resources are wasted and premarital sex can be avoided.

    Now, away from that, Our Evangelism Outreach Pastor is Pastor K. Adegoke. He is a passionate MoG who love God’s people differently and He is happily and intentionally married.

    Pray for the fresh infilling of Holy Spirit on him and pray along with him for outpouring of miracles and power during the program.

    I hope to eat your wedding jollof rice before the year ends.

    Like. Share. Invite

    #OgbomoshoRehobothBaptistAssociation #EvagelismOutreach #Olooyo24 #TheGreatDecision

  • Dear Sister Rosemary,

    Dear Sister Rosemary,

    Today make it 4 years, 4 months, 3 days, 5 hours, 10 minutes and 2 seconds, you last received I love you message, since Bro Dare served you premium breakfast the following month.

    You are not a tree, ma.

    You deserved the best, love can offer you.

    You are advised to spread the love Christ has for you.

    Open your heart to receive love.

    Moreover, since you are assured of God’s love, why don’t you join us to spread it during our Annual Evangelism Outreach holding at Olooyo from Nov., 1st – 3rd, 2024.

    Maybe you may meet bro. David during the program by partnering with us and who knows what can happen?

    Like. Share. Invite

    #OgbomoshoRehobothBaptistAssociation

    #EvagelismOutreach

    #Olooyo24

    #TheGreatDecision

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