I was invited by a Christian WhatsApp Group to speak about the title subject. Here is what I shared with them

In the Beginning

Communication is key in every human relationship. We communicate about everything – food, houses, politics, marriage and of course, sex in marriage. Sex intimacy thrives when both partners communicate openly, honestly and lovingly.

Now ask yourself, can I fully and freely talk to my spouse or my spouse-to-be about my sexual desires?

If you want to have a fantastic communication concerning your sexual life. Note the following points:

#1 – Sexual Communication starts before the act.

Everything start from your mind, posture and heart.

This is very important for all men to note; if you want bed to shake at night, start talking lovingly to your wife from the morning.That communication can be buying a small chops, spanking her bum bum, helping around the house, telling her I love you via email, WhatsApp, SMS, calls.

The talk should also include your expectations on the bed.

Moreover, prayer is also a form of pre-sexual communication. There is nothing bad if you move from the heavenly realm to the bedroom realm.

#2 – Communication is two-way thing.  Ask for what you want on bed.

Talk about your desires, expectations and godly fantasies and respond too.

Dear married woman, ask your husbands for sex today.

Ask for your right. Tell your hubby, where to touch, lick or insert to. You know your body more than your hubby does.

Tell your wife, which new style you want to check out. Add voice to it. You and the man can devise a code that is unintelligible to outsiders and kids.
Lastly, on this point. Talk. Don’t assume. Your husband doesn’t know you are tired, say it and show it but don’t be tired every day.

#3 – Let all non-sexual communication be left behind.

Avoid bringing up external issues. The moment for husband and wife to enjoy themselves in sexual bliss is not the time to ask about Dave’s school fee. Love-making time is not the time to talk about your mother or your struggling business.

It’s not to talk about unfulfilled promises, how to fill the annual tax return, what Donald Trump is doing or not doing, ICE raids, etc. Rather it the time to enjoy company of one another. You can use the remaining hours to talk about Dave, parents, struggling business, unfulfilled promises, bla, nla, bla…

Question 1 – ‘But some women do use that time to ask their men any type of request because they know the men have no choice then. What about that?’

Answer – That is called manipulation and that is why points 1 and 6 are points 1 and 6. Sex should starts before the actual love making and unresolved issue should be resolved before you get to the field of play.

Husbands, love-making time is to tell your madam what she should do, hold, grab, smother, and caress.
Wivey, that moment is to ask your LOMLs to do it like this or like that, insert it here, grab this part of the breasts, climb this part, lick this, etc.

Let the time of conjugal blissfulness really be time for conjugal blissfulness.

Question 2 – Is communication really necessary when it comes to the frequency of sexual engagement? Some others planned the number of days for sex as a couple. What’s your take on these sir? For me, unplanned sex is sweeter.

Answer – Sex can be planned, or unplanned and both can be sweeter, and fulfilling and yes, it is important for the other partner to be adequately informed about how frequent you want it.
One, so that other can also prepare his or her mind and body for the sweet adventure. For example, women are not like we men. Men is kick and start when it comes to sex, while woman need time and stimulation to be aroused. Two, so that we can also look forward to it. A good marriage should contain both the planned and unplanned ones.

#4 – Talk about everything.

Your desires, fantasy, where you want it, when you want it, how you want it, how much you want it.
Please, sex is not something you should in marriage is nothing to be shy of

And lastly point 5.

#5 – Let other communication points in the house be on point.

To have an effectual sexual encounter is this; what will make the sex  great and productive is that the other communication points in the house are on point and effective.

If you are still keeping malice about what your mama-in-law did during your wedding party, how do you intend to freely express yourself?

As the bed activities are great, the marital fidelity should be great too. A toxic environment even if the sex is great is not an ideal Christian home.

Bonus!!!

After a good sex, appreciate your partner