Courtship Forum

Tag: divorce

  • How to Have Good Success in Your Relationship

    How to Have Good Success in Your Relationship

    Bible called something good success.

    There will be someone who did courtship for 10 years and eventually married or courted for a month but that doesn’t mean both situations are ideal.

    There will be someone who divorced and remarried beautifully but we won’t preach divorce because it’s not God’s plan.

    There will always be a student who didn’t read but still passed his exams without malpractice but that is the unsure way.

    There are good children from single parent but should we encourage it?

    That there are some people or even many people who do something unethical, ‘ungodly,’ expedient, out-of-norm, or even extra-biblical and they seem to escape the consequences of it, doesn’t mean we will endorse it.

    We will still hammer on sexual purity before and in marriage.

    We will still call for reconciliation between warring couples.

    We will still encourage efficient double-parenting

    Hard work will be praised and enforced if needed.

    Because the way of the Lord is the surest path to good success.

    May God graced us to do the right thing.

  • God is Angry at You.

    God is Angry at You.

    Bible is not silent about any matter of life. The bible offered the mind and expectations of the Maker of all things, seen and unseen.

    What did God say in the Bible concurrently about divorce and domestic violence? I will use the popular Bible verse, Malachi 2:16 which we all know albeit in different versions.

    New International Version
    “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

    New Living Translation
    “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

    English Standard Version
    “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

    Berean Study Bible
    “For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “He who divorces his wife covers his garment with violence,” says the LORD of Hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit and do not break faith.

    King James Bible
    For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

    New King James Version
    “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”

    New American Standard Bible
    “For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence,” says the LORD of armies. “So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

    NASB 1995
    “For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

    NASB 1977
    “For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

    Amplified Bible
    “For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong and violence,” says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore keep watch on your spirit, so that you do not deal treacherously [with your wife].”

    American Standard Version
    For I hate putting away, saith Jehovah, the God of Israel, and him that covereth his garment with violence, saith Jehovah of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

    Aramaic Bible in Plain English
    LORD JEHOVAH of Hosts God of Israel says, and no one shall hide evil in his cloak. LORD JEHOVAH of Hosts says: “Be aware in your spirit, and you shall not be treacherous

    Brenton Septuagint Translation
    But if thou shouldest hate thy wife and put her away, saith the Lord God of Israel, then ungodliness shall cover thy thoughts, saith the Lord Almighty: therefore take ye heed to your spirit, and forsake them not,

    Good News Translation
    “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel. “I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife.”

    International Standard Version
    “Indeed, the LORD God of Israel says that he hates divorce, along with the one who conceals his violence by outward appearances,” says the LORD of the Heavenly Armies. “So guard yourselves carefully, and don’t be unfaithful.”

    JPS Tanakh 1917
    For I hate putting away, Saith the LORD, the God of Israel, And him that covereth his garment with violence, Saith the LORD of hosts; Therefore take heed to your spirit, That ye deal not treacherously.

    Literal Standard Version
    “For He hates sending away,” said YHWH, God of Israel, “And he [who] has covered violence with his clothing,” said YHWH of Hosts, “And you have been watchful over your spirit, And you do not deal treacherously.”

    New American Bible
    For I hate divorce, says the LORD, the God of Israel, And the one who covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. You should be on guard, then, for your life, and you must not break faith.

    NET Bible
    “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and the one who is guilty of violence,” says the LORD who rules over all. “Pay attention to your conscience, and do not be unfaithful.”

    New Revised Standard Version
    For I hate divorce, says the LORD, the God of Israel, and covering one’s garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So take heed to yourselves and do not be faithless.

    Young’s Literal Translation
    For I hate sending away, said Jehovah, God of Israel, And He who hath covered violence with his clothing, said Jehovah of Hosts, And ye have been watchful over your spirit, And ye do not deal treacherously.

    From this bible verse quoted, it can be deduced that

    • God that hate divorce also hate domestic violence.
    • No where was it stated here that God hates divorcees.

    Did God permits divorce? Yes, he permits it


    Deuteronomy 24:1
    If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds some indecency in her, he may write her a certificate of divorce, hand it to her, and send her away from his house

    Why did he permits it? Because of the hardness of our hearts.

    Lastly, dear you, are you currently in an abusive relationship, my advise is; take heed for you safety. Run for your life.

  • Relationship Mindshift 1 – GOD LOVES DIVORCE.(For those in an abusive or serial cheating Marriage).

    Every Day, it’s either insult, abuse, mistrust, or beating.

    The person has tried every possible means for the spouse to change. The Family has intervened. Church also but instead of abating, the partner seems to be increasing in cruelty.

    To preserve her/his sanity, the abused seeks divorce.

    This partner can’t count the number of fastings and prayers plus mountain climbing she has done to separate, her husband and his numerous side chicks, yet she treats STDs every month.

    When she could no longer take it, she legally end the marriage.

    Are we saying, the two divorce-seeking partners are going to hell?

    Let us not deceive ourselves, as long as it’s two imperfect human beings are getting married every Saturday, we can never rule divorce out.

    Nobody plans for it.

    Nobody prays for it.

    Nobody likes it.

    Nobody should celebrate it.

    But shit happened. Mistakes happened. Some students read for the exams and still fail.

    Some Abigails married Nabals.

    Two, divorce is a failure of the married (not a Marriage institution), a sin though but not an unforgivable sin.

    Three, Bible granted those who marry unbelievers and the unbeliever asks for it, to take it. So He loves divorce that will preserve the salvation of your spirit.

    In addition, if God committed a great purpose into your hands and perhaps, you find yourself in an untoward marriage that threatened your life, sanity, and salvation, seek help and seek out, if the help doesn’t work. You need a sane mind, a sound body, and a saved spirit to obey God.

    He understands that you made a mistake and He can forgive that mistake. He is not happy that your marriage crashed, nevertheless, he still loves you.

    Lastly, church, let’s go and completely read and start quoting Malachi 2:16 in different versions because God said he hates divorce and also said he hates injustice [violence] to one’s spouse in the same verse.

    May God keeps our marriage in Jesus’ Name

    Afterthought: I believe divorce should be the last thing a troubled marriage should considered after all the possible means like prayers, professional and spiritual helps, family intervention, etc have failed.

  • 5 lessons I will teach my daughter(s) about Domestic Violence.

    5 lessons I will teach my daughter(s) about Domestic Violence.

    In my last post I talked about 5 lessons I will teach my son(s) about Domestic Violence

    In this post, I will be teaching my daughter peradventure God gives me female kid without excluding her brother(s).

    What is the first lesson? The first lesson is that domestic violence thrives in an atmosphere of secrecy.

    There is nothing secretive, special , sacred and or unspeakable about Marriage, Courtship and relationships that your brother, sister, father, mother, mentor and those that has moral, parental and spiritual oversight over you can’t hear.

    In addition, the second lesson is for both genders; the lesson about sacredness, blessedness and permanency of Marriage before I teach them the biblical viewpoint about Divorce.

    The sub-lesson includes how to be a Christian spouse (a real Christian will not abuse anything talkless of his/her partners), how to maintain the sacredness of this godly institution ( abusing someone’s partner is tantamount to eroding the sacredness of this beautiful union) and that God’s will is that Marriage should last ’till death do us apart.’

    I also allow teaching my daughter that God’s will about whom to marry is never domicile in one person. That is, there is no one that she must marry by fire by force. So if he is acting funny or showing signs of acting funny, Japa* because God’s will don’t act sinfully. LoL.

    God still loves you, you are still my daughter and marriage is still beautiful.

    God won’t lead you to sinner.

    God won’t agreed to you to be battered because He didn’t die for you for be killed by blows, kicks and fists.

    Learning fatherhood through my goddaughter, Shinaayomi

    Fourthly, my teaching will also touch on the subject of divorce, first that divorce is never the first solution to the marital problem, there are many non-toxic ways of resolving conflicts and if her life is been threatened, seek relief first in separation, prayers before ever considering the last option – Divorce and perhaps if you should go the D way (which I will vehemently pray against now before then) that; God still loves you, you are still my daughter and marriage is still beautiful.

    The last lesson is that don’t abuse anyone. As I won’t tolerate abuse of whatever form from male to female is the same way I will not allow it from woman to man because all lives matter.

    Thanks for reading. Please like, share, comment and subscribe.

    Japa is a Nigerian slang meaning run away

  • 5 lessons I will teach my son(s) about Domestic Violence.

    5 lessons I will teach my son(s) about Domestic Violence.

    Presently now on Nigeria social media space and trend table, the hottest topic is domestic violence after the death of sensational singer Osinach Nwachuckwu, the crooner of Ekwueme as a result of domestic violence from her alleged husband.

    Many are raging and in fact I am livid not because of just this one star gone forever but for many women, girls, men and boys stuck in abusive relationship.

    No one deserves to be abused. Absolutely no one.

    But what has happened has happened, the next agenda is to prevent another ugly occurrence of this nature now and in the next generation.

    Now, what do I intend to do, peradventure God gives me son(s) not also excluding my daughters from the lessons.

    To be truth, I won’t teach my boy, do not beat the women in your live.

    I won’t teach him not to hit his girlfriend.

    I won’t teach him not to abuse his wife.

    Teaching him that is like leaving leperous to treat ringworm. It is like leaving the disease and treating the symptoms. The treatment won’t produce the maximum result you and I desired.

    Now, what will I teach him?

    I will teach him to respect everyone. Every human being, irrespective of their gender, tribe, affiliation, leaning, orientation and religion, deserve a respect. Even if that person is behaving disrespectfully, still respect him/her.

    Not just respect in restraining your hands but also in restraining your tongue, eyes, and hand and giving the other party, the right of disagreement.

    I believe Respect will solve the problem of inferiority/ superiority complex because an abuser thinks he/she is better than his/her abused.

    The second lesson is the lesson of dignity of life of person, animal and plants. Every living things have a right to stress-less living and abuse is stressful living.

    The second reason for lesson no. 2 is that every life matter to God and if everyone matter to Him, every life must matter to us too and because of importance of every life to Him, He doesn’t abuse them. Therefore, what God can not do, we don’t do.

    The third lesson is the principle of love. Majorly, the love of God and the things of God plus the holy fear of the Almighty.

    If you love God and fear Him, you will strive to be like Him. God is not a beater.

    If you love God and fear Him, you will love His creations which include human, the masterpiece of creations.

    If you love and fear God, you will love what He loves and it is a known fact the Almighty loves us.

    If you love the Almighty Creator, you won’t destroy what He created. Abuse is destructive.

    Furthermore, I won’t just teach him to love God but also the attributes of love as outlined in 1st Corinthians 13 part of which says ‘ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ (NIV)

    An abuser is impatient, unkind,envious, boastful, proud, dishonored and selfish, not forgetting that if the person didn’t desist and repent from the unholy act, the individual is hellbound

    In addition to the three lessons, is the lesson of non-toxic, non-confrontation and non-abusive dispute resolutions through effective communication, therapy and seeking professional advice.

    I will tell him that every fight, disagreement and ruckus must not end in broken relationship, fists, blows, divorce, caustic words and emotional/physiological trauma especially marital relationship.

    Why? Because there are many better ways of resolving and solving marital problems without beating one another. Infact beating and abusing won’t resolve any problem in marriage, it will only aggravate it.

    Then, lastly I will teach my boy(s) and girl(s) that in marriage, divorce is not an option but if your marriage gets to hot, seek God, seek out and seek help. The law of life is higher than the law of Marriage. Marriage/Courtship is meant to be enjoyed not to endured.

    How do I intend to impart these lessons? I will be his model right before I have him.

    I will also impart it during our ‘me and daddy chats,’ during family devotions and fun moments to respect, love, dignify and resolve conflict amicably with his girlfriend, mother, sisters, female friends and colleagues and their gender.

    With all the lessons ably taught and modelled by my wife and me, through the help of God, I believe he won’t abuse or hit anyone physically, verbally or emotionally.

    Thanks for reading. Remember, to like, share and comment.

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