Let’s burst a bubble! There are many myths you might have heard about Courtship and Marriage which are half-truths and outright lies. So I am gonna take a couples of days to burst some bubbles.
Today the first bubble to burst is the bubble of marrying your friend i.e., someone you have known for years.
Free photo library.
Lemme start like this, if I asked you to name your friends, you would probably be mentioning those you had known from 7, 10, 20, 30 years ago.
So if you are thinking of marrying your friend, you may have to wait and build friendship for a long period of time. A plan dangerous for two reasons.
For a start, guys, none of your female friends is ready to date or marry you. Not because you are not lovely, up-to-taste or no feellings, but because of familiarity complex.
She knew you probably from diapers and you too knew her.
Two, only one out of ten couples actually marry their longtime friend. The remaining ones BEFRIEND their spouse.
Now, since you won’t have time to build quality friendship because it takes time and resources, what are you going to do? Are you gonna marry a total stranger or an enemy?
Not at all, but instead of forming niceness, rendering unsolicited helps, advices and visits, commenting epistels on his/her post, etc, for someone you have feelings for, SPEAK UP ( in Nigerian parlance, TOAST HIM/HER) and then BEFRIEND your choice, provided you have your choice’s neccesary bio. Bio such as:
original and official name
Religious and church affiliation ( I mean real, offline and physical church he/she attends)
Genotype
Mentors
Etc.
Lastly, another reason you won’t have time to build credible friendship is that another guy is around the corner who is not ready to observe the rule of friendship or you think na only your eye she dey enter?🥰🥰🥰
Welcome to another edition of #GratitudeChallenge.
Today, I am thanking God that I am not the only one experiencing the rain of ‘wins, wins and more wins,’ my friends and family are experiencing it in various forms and degrees.
There is a Yoruba proverb that says one rich man in the midst of six poor relatives is a poor man himself but thank God that is not the case with ours.
Many of us are happily married now.
Gainfully employed.
Rightly connected
Increasing numerically purposefully.
And careerly succeeding.
Not one of us but all of us.
Hallelujah be unto His mightiest name. Amen.
Today’s task for you: Have you downloaded A TEARLESS COURTSHIP?
We subscribe to our Cable TVs in order to enjoy ourselves. The level of our subscription depends on the programs cum enjoyment we will derived.
Love in the air. Coutersy: pexels.com
As our Cable TVs got level, stages and packages, so is the romantic relationship got level, stages and packages with benefits acrue to each package levels:
1. Friendship subscription.
This is the basic package/sub.
At the level, what is available for your enjoyment is friendship. Nothing more.
You boyfriend doesn’t own you, money neither do you own him your body.
She doesn’t own you her cooking and home management skills neither do you own her payment of school fee.
Does this negate gifting? Like I always said, there is no love without exchange of gifts after all, NTA is a free channel.
With my friends at uni.
2. Fiance/Fiancee Subscription.
In this package, more ‘programs’ will be added to you bonquet. Marriage is in view and parents – both in the flesh and in the Lord are in the know how.
Also, you own yourselves plenty gifts and you owned yourselves, sense, transparency, questions, prayers, godly visitation and plenty love.
But you have not sub for house manager, cohabitators, sex and or central bank.
Our pre-wedding shot.
3. Marriage subscription.
Level 3. Premium sub
This is the premium package with full access to all what God packaged in the romance TV but it will cost you money, planning and prayers.
With this sub, you owned one another everything, love, affections, duties, gifts, services, sex, etc.
Complete package.
In addition, you have to know that there is a caveat to this sub which is, that that DStv gave full access to all the programs in premium sub don’t make you the owner of DStv or dictate to them what you must show to you.
They have give terms and conditions to enjoy their services, it is now left to you to enjoy the service or off your TV.
That you are married doesn’t make you the creator of marriage, God is and He has given you His terms and conditions for marriage, the ball now is in your court to enjoy or endure it.
Let me tell you a story that happened to me in my final year in University. It is a story of how a firend make my final year, easy and smooth-free.
Getting to 500l is already tiresome but being in that last lap with a laptop is stressful and here I am without one and with no money to buy one.
My prayers for my friends.
But a friend gave me her laptop at a very reduced price after a brief chit-chat with her on a general issue which veered off to laptop’s matter.
You purchased the thing now? If she didn’t sell at that giveaway price, I wouldn’t be able to afford one. I count it as her parting gift and that gift made the final year awesome for me.
For doing that, I won’t forget her.
Now, ask yourself the following questions:
Should I have friends?
Must I have friends? Talkless of having close-knit friends?
What are the essences, benefits and usefulness of friends?
Do I have friends? Are they good friends?
Are mine a good friend?
You may be surprised that I am asking you all those questions. Of course, you have a friend(s) – some casual and some deep. I too have friends across religious, cultural and tribal divides that have spanned more than 20 years.
Recently, I was reading the portion of the Bible where a paralytic man was taken to Jesus Healing and Teaching Crusade and they couldn’t find a way to get him to Jesus but they did something that always amazed me about friends and friendship. Instead of returning their friends home, they did the impossible and the unexpected.
The paralytic man being carried by his friends to Jesus teaching and healing crusade.
When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. When Jesus saw their faith… So he said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.” Luke 5:19 – 26 NIV
Because of this man’s friends, 4 things happened:
He was healed
He was forgiven of his sin
He praised God.
People praised God.
And that is how God wants your friendship to be.
A friend in need, is a friend indeed.
God made us want and need friendship. But some friendships got entangled in comparison and competition. Some friendships lack healthy boundaries while some friendships need a tune up and some need to be cancelled. (How to have healthy friendships’ devotional plan emphasis mine) but first who is a friend?
Fun-fact: The word friend was mentioned 155 times in the Bible.
According to Advanced Oxford Dictionary, a friend is a person you know very well and regard with affection and trust.
Secondly, why should we even have friends? The purposes of friendship are numerous, some of them are:
1. Friends are useful for carrying us.
Like the paralytic man in Luke 5, we all need friends who will carry us in prayers, words of encouragement, helps, supports and advice like most of David’s friends.
2. We are Relational Beings.
God did not create anyone to be stand-alone. He created us to have a relationship with Him and fellow human beings like us (father, mother, brother, sister and friend). So one of the channels of fulfilling that purpose of God is through quality friendship.
3. To solve problem together.
Since you can’t be alone courtesy of the fact that you are a relational being, God doesn’t want you to tackle the problem alone. He doesn’t want you to bottle up the feeling. He wants you to talk to someone who is in the best position to hear your real and unreal cries and who is the best position, if not someone you regard with affection and trust?
4. Friends are constant lovers.
Like that age-long proverb that says that a friend in need, is a friend indeed. A good friend loves you like Jonathan loves David. He/she also desires and strives to have you as a better individual.
A friend loves at all time… Proverbs 17:17 (AMP).
5. Even God have friends.
God have friends. Abraham is God’s friend, so is David. So therefore if we have friends, we are God-like.
Jesus even called us His friends, if we obey Him (John 15:14-15).
The cloud of witnesses about us have friends while they are in these mortal bodies.
6. Friends help our ‘visions.’
I needed a friend to see what I couldn’t. The truth. So often we look at the details all over the landscape—the millions of trees. And we miss the forest. Those overarching truths that cover us and provide shade and security and keep us grounded.
Now to answer, our question, we should have friends albeit good ones.
In conclusion, the question before you and mine now is; are mine a good friend to my friend or not? Do I even have good friends?
Courtship Forum 