Courtship Forum

Tag: God’s will

  • God’s Will or Willy Willy?

    She was sure that he was the one, she received in her dream. In fact, she has never had a vivid dream in her life except this vision of him.

    But two weeks into the said relationship with God’s Will, he is asking for sex. He was even quoting Bible to explain why they should committed premarital sex.

    After some months of back and forth, he started pressurizing this godly sister, threatening to end their situationship.

    Nevertheless, she came to me confused and I told her plainly, that that brother is not the marital will of God for you and for any other godly church sisters. God’s Will will display God’s character and be pro-Bible. Cefinis.

    See, how some of us go about this God’s Will of a thing is surprising and pathetic, because I don’t know your supposed will of God will be after you life?

    I can fathom a will of God will be doing everything God warned us against, hate what God loves and love what God hates. Such bro or sister can never be God’s Will for any of His children rather they are Willy Willy.

    Additionally, in plain terms, God’s Will will not abuse you.

    God’s Will won’t plunge you into bottomless pit of debt so that you can afford her expensive lifestyle.

    The person God has chosen for you as a spouse will not have problem with Bible, prayer, giving and serving in this kingdom. If he does, you received wrongly

    Whom God has in mind for you in marriage is never an unbeliever.

    That person will not take peace of mind away from you. If s/he does, s/he is a Willy Willy.

    I repeat conclusively, God’s Will is equal to godly character. Anything is not of God and He didn’t have in mind for you. Anything outside that is manipulative spirit showing you lies.

    May God gives you, the understanding to know His mind in Jesus’ name.

  • What is God’s will for your relationships.

    What is God’s will for your relationships.

    We have been discussing God’s will since two Sunday ago. We defined God’s will as God’s law, mind, intentions, command and delight and  doing God’s will means doing what pleases God.

    In the second part, I discussed types of God’s will and said you can’t disobey nor obey God’s sovereignty will, the ones you can disobey are commanded wills and others but not without consequences.

    Now, let’s talk about God’s intent and delight about your relationships. Be it friendships, marriage, courtship or whatsoever nomenclature you give it.

    Firstly, God’s will is that you should enjoy your relationship. He doesn’t want you to endure it.

    Dear friend, I pray that you may prosper in every way and be in good health physically just as you are spiritually.
    3 John 1:2 HCSB

    Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth.
    Proverbs 5:18 HCSB

    Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life, which has been given to you under the sun, all your fleeting days. For that is your portion in life and in your struggle under the sun.
    Ecclesiastes 9:9 HCSB

    For more read Proverb 18:24, 17:17, 27:10

    As he want you prosper physically. He wants you prosper relationally.

    Secondly, God’s pleasure is that most of whom you relate to are Christians. Most especially in marriage.

    …not staying away from our worship meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.
    Hebrews 10:25 HCSB

    Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
    2 Corinthians 6:14 HCSB

    Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
    1 Corinthians 15:33 HCSB

    Furthermore, He hates abusive relationships.

    “If he hates and divorces his wife, ” says the Lord God of Israel, “he covers his garment with injustice,” says the Lord of Hosts. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously.
    Malachi 2:16 HCSB

    In addition, God’s delight is that your relationships is a holy ones.

    How happy is the man who does not follow the advice of the wicked or take the path of sinners or join a group of mockers!
    Psalms 1:1 HCSB

    Conclusively, this is not an exhaustive list but these pretty much cover all. I will like your voice in comment as to how to know and do God’s will.

  • Types of God’s will.

    Types of God’s will.

    I started this series with the definition of God’s will and what it means to do it. Click here to read it.

    Now, today’s series is about types of God’s will and how we can key into it for both our spiritual and physical edification. Shall we proceed?

    1. Sovereign Will of God.

    This is God’s plan that is predestined or decreed in His eternal wisdom. This consists of what the Almighty has decided in His mind to do by His omnipotent power. No creature, whether man or angel can disobey, delay, or thwart this plan. Consciously or unconsciously, we are all playing a part in this plan.

    For example, everything about Jesus Christ and the salvation of mankind was decreed before the creation of the earth and everyone – Mary, Joseph, Apostles, Judas, Romans, Herod, Pontus Pilate, etc involved in the play was playing his/her part.

    What if Judas refused to betray Jesus? Seriously, if it’s not him, one of the 12 will. Why? It has been written.

    Other examples are God’s choice and selection of the nation of Israel (Romans 11:1-2) and most of what was written in the books of Daniel and Revelations fall in this category.

    To shock you, the ongoing Russian-Ukraine war, America’s moral decline, the COVID-19 pandemic, breathtaking scientific breakthroughs, etc., are all fulfilling a part in the sovereign will of God concerning the end time.

    We can also put the natural laws like gravity, Earth’s rotation, and revolution, and the galaxies into this category for they all work according to the dictate of Almighty God.

    Lastly about this,  sometimes, God reveals some parts of his sovereign will to us. However, frequently, it remains a secret. God reveals to us only what he wants us to know.

    2. Commanded Will of God.

    This is also known as the moral will of God. This includes His laws and commandments like the ten commandments (Exodus 20) and many such divine guidelines where Yahweh told us how He wants us to act or not to act.

    You can choose to obey or disobey this but there are consequences for any of the actions. (Deuteronomy 28, Isaiah 1:19-20).

    3. The preferential  will of God.

    This is knowing the mind of God on something that is not explicitly stated as a sin. That is wanting to discern what ultimately pleases Him and of His utmost delight.

    It means being on God’s perfect side or choosing Yahweh’s stand and as His children, our desire should be to do that which pleases God

    For instance, God doesn’t want sinners to perish. It is His utmost delight that all come to repentance. Therefore, doing God’s will towards the sinner will be not to cancel such an individual as someone beyond the grace of God.

    God loves the poor and wants them taken care of. Doing God’s will towards the poor will be taking care of them.

    This is also called God’s will of disposition. For more on this, read the following verses; Romans 12:1; Colossians 1:10; 2 Corinthians 5:9; Ephesians 5:10, Matthew 18:14; 1 Timothy 2:3-4; 2 Peter 3:9; Ezekiel 18:32; 33:11.

    4. The directive will of God.

    This refers to the Holy Spirit’s personal and direct guidance in our lives through a dream, vision, prophecy, pastoral utterances, word of wisdom, or other means.

    God may want you to do a particular job, married a specific person or not, go somewhere or not, etc and it does not violate any of the “wills” above or Scripture (in fact its validity must be subjected to scripture to prove whether it is the will of God or not).

    For example, if you have a dream where you married a second wife as a married man, that is not God’s will because it negates His plan for marriage as explicitly stated in the Holy Bible. The “Macedonian call” (Acts 16:6-10), the guidance of Philip (Acts 8:26), and of Peter and Ananias (Acts 10:1-23) are examples.

    5. The discerned will of God.

    This is the type of will, we get by application of two or more Bible passages, especially on issues not specifically touched in the Bible.

    The decision of who to marry, what city to live, what career to pursue, how many children to have, which school to attend, what kind of car to get, what kind of food, shoes, and clothes, and how much money to give to charity and more are not written in the Bible. We use Biblical principles to discern God’s will on it.

    The first example is there is nowhere in the Bible where the name of your spouse is written down as in Mr. A of No 2, Oregon street TX USA must marry Miss. B from No 26, African way, Nigeria but if we applied various biblical instructions about Christian marriages and spouse selection, we can deduce whether they can marry themselves.

    5. Expected will of God.

    These are sets of laws of what God expects us as Christians to do for our benefit and safety.

    God expects us to pray, fast, pay our tithes and offerings, be faithful to one spouse, be diligent and be hardworking plus many other good things

    Conclusively let’s pray; Teach me to do your will, for you are my God” ( Psalm 143:10 ).

  • What is God’s will and How to know and do it.

    What is God’s will and How to know and do it.

    “May Your will be done.”

    “Marry God’s will for your life to enjoy marriage.”

    “I want to do Your Will, oh Lord!”

    All these and many more are cliques and quotes in Christianity that have even made the phrase, God’s will, almost lost its import. Some have even micro-defined it to mean the right marriage.

    …but only the one who does the will of My Father in heaven.
    Matthew 7:21 HCSB

    Apart from the fact that God’s will is more than marrying rightly but having a good marriage is not a sign that you did God’s will. What will tell us whether you know His wills and do them is; do you marry a Christian and now even in marriage, whose wills, laws and pleasures are ruling your family? Unless both questions are in affirmation, you haven’t done God’s will.

    Now, what is God’s will and what does it mean to do God’s will? Simply, God’s will is God’s words, laws, pleasures and commands and to do them is to do what pleases God.

    “I appeal to you, therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1–2.

    I repeat, to do God’s will is to do what pleases God.

    Teach me to do your will, for you are my God” ( Psalm 143:10 ).

    It’s to do what makes God happy.

    It’s doing what God is doing. What He has done or will do.

    It is liking what He likes and disliking what He dislikes.

    Doing what he commanded is doing God’s will.

    It also means to believe in and trust in Him completely.

    Lastly, God’s ultimate will is the advancement of his kingdom (Dan 2:44), his glorification (1 Cor 10:31), and the salvation and sanctification of his children through his son, Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:9).

  • God’s will is not enough.

    God’s will is not enough.

    This month is for clearing and busting bubbles and myths about relationships, marriage and Courtship.

    Bust the first bubble here

    Today, we will puncture the balloon of ‘all what I need for a happy marriage is to marry God’s will’

    To start with, in Agricultural practices, we have various farming operations namely; pre-planting, planting, post-planting, harvesting and post-harvesting operations.

    The first bubble, how many of us know what is God’s will and how many of us have limited Divine will to marital choice only?

    Now, let’s assume all of us know what is God’s perfect plan for us concerning marital choices but do you know that that doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage.

    Why? Because marrying assumed God’s will is pre-planting operations; something that must be done before marriage and I hope everyone agrees with me that a good pre-planting operation doesn’t mean that a farm will be good. Other operations must be performed to have a good harvest.

    Marrying your God’s ordained spouse is pre-planting operations combing these operations with other operations is what makes a marriage happy.

    Such operations like;

    • Appreciating your spouse.
    • Constant forgiveness
    • Affirmative display of love
    • Prayers
    • Good sex
    • Effective communication
    • Tolerance
    • Etc.

    Doing the former while neglecting the latter is what turned a Christian home into an unattended garden which will soon be run over with weeds of malice, stalled communication, bickerings, etc. This is why some Christians are enduring their union. Not because they allegedly mismarry but because they hand off their marriages almost immediately after their wedding.

    The second reason why the myth doesn’t work is that even God’s will for your life is still a human being.

    And the third reason is; that you have to marry a kind person.

    T for thanks and C for the comment.

  • 5 lessons I will teach my daughter(s) about Domestic Violence.

    5 lessons I will teach my daughter(s) about Domestic Violence.

    In my last post I talked about 5 lessons I will teach my son(s) about Domestic Violence

    In this post, I will be teaching my daughter peradventure God gives me female kid without excluding her brother(s).

    What is the first lesson? The first lesson is that domestic violence thrives in an atmosphere of secrecy.

    There is nothing secretive, special , sacred and or unspeakable about Marriage, Courtship and relationships that your brother, sister, father, mother, mentor and those that has moral, parental and spiritual oversight over you can’t hear.

    In addition, the second lesson is for both genders; the lesson about sacredness, blessedness and permanency of Marriage before I teach them the biblical viewpoint about Divorce.

    The sub-lesson includes how to be a Christian spouse (a real Christian will not abuse anything talkless of his/her partners), how to maintain the sacredness of this godly institution ( abusing someone’s partner is tantamount to eroding the sacredness of this beautiful union) and that God’s will is that Marriage should last ’till death do us apart.’

    I also allow teaching my daughter that God’s will about whom to marry is never domicile in one person. That is, there is no one that she must marry by fire by force. So if he is acting funny or showing signs of acting funny, Japa* because God’s will don’t act sinfully. LoL.

    God still loves you, you are still my daughter and marriage is still beautiful.

    God won’t lead you to sinner.

    God won’t agreed to you to be battered because He didn’t die for you for be killed by blows, kicks and fists.

    Learning fatherhood through my goddaughter, Shinaayomi

    Fourthly, my teaching will also touch on the subject of divorce, first that divorce is never the first solution to the marital problem, there are many non-toxic ways of resolving conflicts and if her life is been threatened, seek relief first in separation, prayers before ever considering the last option – Divorce and perhaps if you should go the D way (which I will vehemently pray against now before then) that; God still loves you, you are still my daughter and marriage is still beautiful.

    The last lesson is that don’t abuse anyone. As I won’t tolerate abuse of whatever form from male to female is the same way I will not allow it from woman to man because all lives matter.

    Thanks for reading. Please like, share, comment and subscribe.

    Japa is a Nigerian slang meaning run away

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