Before miracles, teachings, and crowds, Jesus went through testing.
The wilderness is not punishment — it is preparation.
Jesus overcame temptation by the Word, showing us that life in Him is sustained by truth, not feelings.
Then He called His first disciples with the invitation that still stands today:
“Follow me…”
Reflection:
LIFE IN HIM is a journey of trust. Are you ready to follow even when you don’t have all the details?
Tag: Relationship
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Day 3 – The Wilderness Before the Ministry
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What sacrifices have you made in life?
Hmmmm!
Three months to my wedding, I got a job far away from home. In fact, about 8 hours from home. Ogbomoso, Oyo State to Benin Edo State.
Well, the job pays more than what I currently had then. Actually 3× of the then salary.
If I stay in my current job, my then fiance turned wife now, monthly income is 3× mine and I have to man up.
The problem has never been my wife earning more than I did but rather closing the income gap between us. So I took the job
The job is a farm manager position in a remote village in Benin, Edo State. No network, no light, no road. So bad that if I have to communicate effectively with my fiance, without interruption, I will have to spend ₦1000 as transport fare to where there is good network. After the day work on farm that runs from 8am till 4pm.
Besides, almost all the guys there smoke indian hemp.
The first question I ask myself is; carrer-wise, did this make sense? How will I know of emerging trends in the market?
Two, is this the type of environment, I want to raise my children? A community of Indian hemp smokers and unkempt hairs?
Three, let’s say my fiance resigned from her job, what job have I secure for her or what money did I have to give her to start a business?
If I said my wife should be at home, and I will be visiting monthly, it still doesn’t make economic sense. Why? Because, I will have to travel on Friday evening, all things being equal, I should get home by 11pm. By Saturday, I will sure visit my friends and parents and by Sunday afternoon, I am on way back in order to resume on month. The transport fee will cost me about ₦10,000 to and fro .
I will have to drop home maintenance fee for my wife and will also eat at my workplace. After everything, what will be left will be ₦5000. Why this stress?
What sacrifices have you made in life?
After all these introspection, I discovered that the cons far outweigh the pros, a month to my wedding, I resigned and return to my former workplace which this saying in mind, let the worse that want to happen happened, God is on the throne.
Praise God, the bad did not happen talk less of the worst and I joined my wife and both of us combined our little resources together and live happily after.
Now, tell me what sacrifices have you made in your life?
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New Release – Single But Not Searching For Love
Between my first and my last relationship between Marriage is a period of 8 years, majorly my 20s.
During that time though alone but I was never lonely and I can say it emphatically that I enjoyed my singlehood and I am enjoying my marriagehood.
Who says you too can’t?
That’s why I have put pen to paper to write you a new book that highlight ways and manners of enjoying your Singlehood without necessarily being in a relationship.
Two, the book prepares you for marriage but while at it, enjoy your singleness.
To buy your copy of Single But Not Searching For Love, click down
Or here
Thanks.
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11 KEYS FOR A GREAT DATE.
To begin with, what’s a date? A date is an appointment to meet someone or go out with them, especially someone with whom you are having, or may soon have, a romantic relationship.
As a Christian, it should be clear enough to you that you should be having, or may soon have a romantic relationship with only a Christian.
Two, since a romantic date is usually male-initiated, this write-up may be focused majorly on ladies but the tips are still much applicable for guys.
Now these are the tips:
- Let your date venue be open, non-solitary and well-lighted. The chosen place should be a place that is comfortable for both of you and temptation-free.
- A date is for discussion and dinning. The former before the latter.
- Dress smartly and not seductively.
- That moment is not a moment to relay your date with what ex you did, house rent, family problems, work-related issues, etc. All those can wait.
- A date is between two adults. Therefore, don’t go with a friend.
- On the date table, avoid controversial topics like politics except you both mutually agreed to.
- Keep your phone in your purse/pocket. Let your date have your whole attention for that moment.
- I believe the initiator of the date should be the one to finance it. However, you are an adult, please add your widow’s mite.
- You too [as a lady] can initiate a date.
- Note that a date invite is not a moment to act like a hungry, ferocious lion. Therefore, eat from home, if you always fell hungry.
- Don’t pressure your partner. Rather make him/her comfortable
- If it is someone you are already in Courtship with, please do it periodically. It is a good avenue to create and strengthen friendliness.
- After the date, send a thank-you message expressing your appreciation for their company.
In conclusion, buy my new book, SINGLE BUT NOT SEARCHING FOR LOVE, here to determine whether you are mature enough to have a date, court that person and remember following these tips can help ensure your date goes smoothly and leaves a positive impression.
Enjoy your time together!
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Should partners check each other phones?
One of those debates we have on social media that are laughable is this.
Some women engaged in this silly act because they want to ‘know’ their husbands or fiances.
Furthermore, some have an axiom that say, men’s phones are onions, the more you look, the more the tears hence some ladies completely abstain from their partner’s phone.
Dear, if you go about checking your partner’s phone behind his/her in order to gather some info about him/her or you completely abstain because you don’t want to see what may ill your heart, may I tell you that the phone, chats and or the messages are not the problem, your partner, you and the situationship you are calling relationship are the problems and you all have problems.
You have the problem of trust. Had it been, you won’t be looking for what is not lost.
There is problem of misplace priority because that is a case of leaving leprosy to treat ringworm.
You have a problem of communication because reading chats and checking message are not the wisdom routes to knowing your partner. Wetin happened to prayer, observation and communication?
You have problem of love. If there is one, your phone is the least thing your partner will have access to.
Therefore leave the phone and go and work on your relationship. Leave the symptoms, go and treat the disease.
And lastly men’s phones are not onions. If you believed contrarily, you have been lied to.
#dadkylexy #christiancourtshipanddatingadvicesAfterthought 1
By norms, I don’t check my partner’s phone not because I don’t want to see what will ail me but because I trust my wife. Two, my wife’s place of work deals with confidential data of people.
Afterthought 2:
Some partner’s phone may not be easily accessible for their partner because of the nature of their works, e.g., bankers, big data company employees, counsellors, pastors, policeman, etc
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October Challenge 29 – How to strengthen Your Family through Food – Damilola Àlàó, CEO Praise Foods
A personal story quickly; during courtship, while we were discussing conflict resolutions, we agreed to demarcate how far our anger or reactions will go. One of those demarcations, is that no matter the gravity of our disagreement, family food must not be affected.
Staying aloof or alone, being angry is permitted, occasional malice can be done for some time but the family cook, must not say she is angry, she will not cook neither should the eater, which is definitely me, should not reject the food.
One, an healthy food promotes family well-being which drugs and some medication will not be able to, to an extent.Remember an adage that says, ‘ Eat your food as you would eat your drug.’
Also Good foods can be avenue for the family to appreciate the goodness of the Lord over your affairs. After all, Deuteronomy 8:10 says, ‘when you have eaten and are satisfied, Praise The Lord your God for the good He has given you.
A hungry family can hardly praise the Lord.
Food also helps to create indelible family moments. Eating at the same time tells you, you are valued. Eating at the same table connotes that you are part of the family system. Eating from the family pot shows that unshakeable love binds us together.
Tell me, who wouldn’t want a bonded family?
Fourthly, Family food is a reenactment of Marriage of Lamb. Jesus at the end of age will gather all his family for an unparalleled feast of foods, fruits, and wines. By eating together now, we are simply rehearsing our future endeavors.
Furthermore, Good family delicacy also boosts the happiness of the family members, as this will in turn, eventually strengthen the cord of the family.
On addition, through quality food, we are confirming the covenant. Notice why there is always a state banquet after the signing of the treaty? Of course, it’s to reaffirm and establish the covenant.
Moreover, this boils down to how each family will combine and manage the different classes of foods and what each supplies to the body system.
The family can have a food time-table/meal plan consisting of all the classes of food according to their availability in their locality. This will save time and money.
Also the mother of the house should know how to prepare some sweet and healthy delicacies that will make the family to stay sane and mentally okay and there should be once-in-while eat-outs.
Lastly, we should allow the situation of this country to determine the intake of the food but as a family you can adjust your food time-table. Good food are not costly to made and they are easy to make.Thanks for reading. Have a food day
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October Challenge Day 23 – How to be You
Welcome to the last week of October Challenge. I am gonna dedicated this week to relationship stuffs. Make sure you watch this video, like, share and comment.
How To be You. #OctoberChallenge #dadkylexy
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Revive Your Relationship Challenge.
Hi! Friends! Lovers and followers!
Welcome to another moment with Joel! Hope you are fine?
I just want to remind you that I love you.
Now, new season is here and for the next thirty days starting from August, you and I will embark on journey of reviving and rekindle both old and new love in the 30-days #ReviveYourRelationship Challenge.
It is practical! Encouraging! Entralling! Enriching! Reviving! And it is for all!
Thank for reading. Make sure you comment your lover’s name.
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How to cultivate a hearty relationship with your daughter-in-law.
We have talked, written, podcasted and blogged about how a wife should cultivate a working relationship with her mother-in-law. I think it is time to talk about mothers striving for a good relationship with their daughters-in-law.
Having said that, my unconfirmed research said that 5 out of 10 mothers-daughters-in-law relationships are unhealthy, 3 are healthy while the remaining 2 are on “dey your dey lemme dey my dey*” but you as a potential or mother-in-law can cultivate a good and hearty relationship with your daughter-in-law through the following ways:
1. Know where your daughter-in-law is coming from.
For instance, my wife is coming from a background where they employed caterers for their ceremonies, wherein in mine, we used our wives. It will amount to insensitivity should my mum be expecting my wife to do “olobinrin file**” fully. It won’t work well if she has those expectations of her.
In another instance, up to when she will be getting married, my wife and her siblings called themselves by their birth names or pet names and none of her uncles’ wives adds sister to her name as culture demands. So my mom shouldn’t be expecting that from her except she willingly wants to.
Dear mother, know the difference and respect it. Things won’t always be the same. Have honest expectations.
2. Have a honest expectations.
Mother, this is the 21st century and there is still a respectable lady out there for your son who will see you as her mother but she may not be able to tolerate many things you tolerated with your mother-in-law.
She may not able to use her hand to wash your clothes.
She may not be available to come and stir amala at the family ceremony.
She may not call your son and daughter aunties or brother
She may not even allowed omugwo.
She is not bad but times are changing and women are getting educated nowadays and they are gainfully employed.
3. Respect your daughter-in-law.
Respect is reciprocal. If you want respect from her, respect her too.
If you want a gift from her, give her a gift too.
Click here to see the gifts you can give your daughter-in-law
Respect her womanhood.
Respect her humanity.
Respect the fact that she can harm your son and she hasn’t.
Respect as the lady of the house as you are the lady of your husband’s house.
Respect her.
4. Accept the biblical fact.
What biblical fact? The fact that “the two are naked and are not ashamed.”
Meaning; that as far as your son’s priority towards his mum and wife are concerned, the latter take preeminent in every area.
That is the fact that can liberate you. If you thoroughly trained your son, he wouldn’t have a problem with leaving you and cleaving to his wife.
Thanks for engaging.
*dey your dey lemme dey my dey is a pidgin language meaning be on your lane let me be on mine
**olobinrin ile mean wives of the house. This is a system common among the Yoruba in which the wives in the family comes together to cook and serve during family ceremonies.
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God’s will is not enough.
This month is for clearing and busting bubbles and myths about relationships, marriage and Courtship.
Today, we will puncture the balloon of ‘all what I need for a happy marriage is to marry God’s will’
To start with, in Agricultural practices, we have various farming operations namely; pre-planting, planting, post-planting, harvesting and post-harvesting operations.
The first bubble, how many of us know what is God’s will and how many of us have limited Divine will to marital choice only?
Now, let’s assume all of us know what is God’s perfect plan for us concerning marital choices but do you know that that doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage.
Why? Because marrying assumed God’s will is pre-planting operations; something that must be done before marriage and I hope everyone agrees with me that a good pre-planting operation doesn’t mean that a farm will be good. Other operations must be performed to have a good harvest.
Marrying your God’s ordained spouse is pre-planting operations combing these operations with other operations is what makes a marriage happy.
Such operations like;
- Appreciating your spouse.
- Constant forgiveness
- Affirmative display of love
- Prayers
- Good sex
- Effective communication
- Tolerance
- Etc.
Doing the former while neglecting the latter is what turned a Christian home into an unattended garden which will soon be run over with weeds of malice, stalled communication, bickerings, etc. This is why some Christians are enduring their union. Not because they allegedly mismarry but because they hand off their marriages almost immediately after their wedding.
The second reason why the myth doesn’t work is that even God’s will for your life is still a human being.
And the third reason is; that you have to marry a kind person.
T for thanks and C for the comment.
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7 Ways to cope with Heartbreak.
To be candid, heartbreak hurts. It stinks. It pains to the inner mind particularly when you knew for a fact that you dot all the ‘i’s and crossed all the ‘t’s in a biblical way yet you are being ‘punished’ for love.
Source: shutterstock. I said it again it isn’t palatable. I knew what it implies to be heartbroken but you can deal with the agony triumphantly.
In addition to that, heartbreak is inevitable. As long as a human will be your father, mother, kid, spouse, boss, etc, you got to respect their fallibilities.
Now deal with heartbreak like these:
1.CRY.Even our Lord Jesus Christ was heartbroken at His people’ unbeliefs and wept. Cry! You have not sinned. Talk to people about your pains. Crying relieves pain.
2. THANK GOD.It was a human being that broke your heart, not Yahweh, so praise ummhangeable Promise Keeper.
Two, if it is a romantic breakup, dance away! There are many saves that God is doing for us that we have no inkling about. Maybe you are saved from a potentially damaging relationship and lastly, the bible said, ‘in everything, give thanks.’
3. FORGIVE AND TAKE THE FIRST STEP OF RECONCILIATION.Yeah! You didn’t misread me! You have to forgive your heartbreaker whether the person realises his/her mistakes or not, after all, we have done worse for Jesus and He forgave us.
Don’t just forgive, take the first step of reconciliation by calling, emailing, DMing the offender to normalise the relationship after all Christ didn’t wait for us to repent before dying for us.
You say, ‘it is not easy and unfair.’ who said it will be? But that is Christ’s teaching and Christ Himself is the one that will grace to do His will. Remember, blessed are the peacemakers.
4. GO OUT.After doing the stuff above. Stop blaming yourself.
Stop pity party.
Go and pursue your objectives, goals and aspiration.
Go out, network and make new friends. It is your season of love.
5. LOVE AGAIN.There is an adage in the Yoruba, loosely translated as, ‘if a car hits you, it is still a car that will carry you to hospital.’ Love again and love with Queen Esther’s saying in your mind that, ‘if I perish [again], I perish.’
It is one human that broke your heart, it’s still another human being that you will marry.
6. DON’T PUNISH OTHERS.It is your ex that dumped you, not all girls, so don’t punish your next, sir.
It is that boy that is unserious not all boys.
You were swindled by one man not all.So let’s be guided.
7. GUARD YOUR HEART.
Lastly, guard the remaining part of your heart with love, joy and soundness and let it spring out of life.
MAY YOU HEAL.
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SCARCITY OF GOOD MEN AND WOMEN…AND WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT – Mrs. Modupe Ehirim.
In the course of my work as a Marriage Educator and Counselor, I meet many people who desire to marry.
The young women lament that they can’t find good men.
The young men too lament that they can’t find good women.
I find this somewhat perplexing because many young men and women that I meet have great characteristics. It seems to me that both men and women do not know how and where to meet prospective partners who fit them.
In The Right Fit Marriage Academy we asked married people to tell us how they met the persons they married. Here are some responses we got:
“I met my fiance in our campus fellowship. He was my discipler��. He was an executive in the fellowship, one of those spiritual brothers we look up to in the fellowship. Through our discipleship class, we became friends and friends became intimate friends and from there it happened ��” T. A.
“I had graduated from school but visited UNN for some other reason and noticed her but never spoke to her at all..so after many years I got a recommendation from a good friend of mine and when I asked for details..her name popped up. I searched my Facebook friends list. Luckily she was there and her number was also there. I took her number from there and started calling..and she finally agreed to take the ride of life with me. Best pal ever.” I. N.
“My husband met me at his colleague’s wedding. The mother of his colleague is my church mum. I had to drag myself to the wedding. Hubby was just taking pictures of us with the bride as we danced with her. According to him, he was just taking a random picture and later I came to stand close to him and he took another picture of me. He was just scrolling through the pictures he took and he was like this lady’s complexion is captivating (I’m dark skinned and he told God he wanted omo dudu.lol). When the colleague came back from honeymoon, he asked her for my number. She had to ask her mum for my number. Her mum questioned and questioned and called me before releasing my number. I was a bit skeptical at first but I agreed to meet him. And days turned to weeks and I met him officially two months after we began talking. We’re now married.” O. A.
These responses show that meeting with a prospective marriage partner happens as you go about your regular activities. However, you have to be present and intentional in order to recognise the opportunity when it presents itself.
What should a person who is eager to find a suitable partner do? If you are that person, what should you do?
Here are seven steps that will help you to overcome the “scarcity problem”.
1. Avoid Pity Parties
Your attitude and mindset play a significant role succeeding in any aspect of life including finding the person you will marry. Avoid feeding discouragement and bitterness because you have not yet met a good partner. If you have a cheerful and optimistic attitude and outlook, you’ll be much more attractive to a prospective spouse.
2. Look beyond your immediate community.
Be open to the idea that a prospective partner that fits you may currently live in a place that is far away from where you currently live. Long distance relationships have their own problems, true. The problem is not the distance. If you know and practice courtship principles that work for a long distance relationship.
3. Keep your eyes open with people you already know.
There may be a person that you have known for a long time without having any romantic ideas about them. If you pay attention, you may suddenly see such a person with fresh eyes and see in them a possibility of a relationship with them. At times, your friends may see the possibility of that person being suitable for you and nudge you towards them.
4. Accept assistance from GOOD matchmakers – Family, friends, professionals.
One Marriage and Relationship expert stated the dramatic finding that 63% of married couples were first introduced to each other by family or friends. Be open to suggestions and advice from RELIABLE family members and friends. In our careers and businesses, you and I appreciate the value of networking. We are open to using our networks to make beneficial connections. Why not let the same networks work for you in your search for a prospective marriage partner?
5. Use the Online Space – Social Media, Dating apps.
You, like many people, may find the online space scary. Yet it is a great platform for meeting new people who share similar interests with you. What you need is to carefully choose the online spaces that have developed a solid reputation and where people of similar age, background, beliefs and interests gather. While interacting with people in the online spaces that you choose, exercise discernment. Today, you can find out a lot about people you meet online even without asking them any questions.
6. Go to places and events where people who are like-minded are.
If you want to catch a fish, you go to where you think the most fish are. If you want to make a sales contact, you attend meetings with the likelihood of finding potential clients. If you want to find a prospective marriage partner, it makes sense to go to locations and events where you know that the kind of partner you are looking for is likely to be. Meetings, conferences, training programs.
7. Seize your moments of opportunity.
If marriage is one of your life’s priorities, then you should be intentional about the activities that will make it happen. If you are not intentional, you may actually miss good opportunities for connecting with someone who could be a great match for you.
Do you have additional tips to add to this list? Share with us.
Written by Mrs. Modupe Ehirim via The Right Fit Marriage Academy on Facebook.
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