Courtship Forum

Tag: Relationship

  • How to handle Marriage proposal rightly.

    How to handle Marriage proposal rightly.

    According to Wikipedia, only 5% of marriage proposals are done by female.

    Source: Google.

    One of the reasons I so much cherished my wife is that she handled my proposal properly without any delay.

    She gave her answer the same day I asked her out.

    But many ladies nowadays waste marriage proposals unneccesarily through delay tactics.

    Queens, let me tell you a fact; giving a man yes answer on the spot, spending a reasonable time on it or using 6 months to pray about it doesn’t define your value to a man. A man values you based on

    ☑️ His personal value. If he is a man that believe woman must be below him no matter her efforts, if you like play hard to get for 5 years before saying yes, he still won’t value you.
    A valueless individual values nothing.

    But if it is a man with high moral values, whether you ask him out by yourself, give yes answer on a spot, or took extended time to think about it, he will still value you.

    ☑️ Your values. Yoruba proverb says, ‘bonigba ba se pe igba re la n ba peee‘ loosely translated as ‘ the name the owner called her calabash is what we will be helping her to call it.’ You can be behaving as irresponsible and uncaring all over places and expect any reasonable man to take you serious.

    Madam, please a value on yourself.

    Now, that you have known that taking extended time to answer proposal is of no use, then handle proposal like these:

    👉 Have a checklist of who you can’t marry. You can’t marry every man that ask you out and this also boil down to having values.

    When I was single, I knew the class of people I can’t marry and trust me I met them but I didn’t trouble any one of them for relationship because marriage between us can never happen.

    I knew I can’t marry non-christian. So I don’t bother to ask one out despite having all the qualities I want in my wife.

    I also know I can marry from all church. We worship same God but use different beliefs.

    Why will I go after a deeper life sister when I love trouser wearing lady with rims as earrings?

    Why will I be toasting a JW girl who I know doesn’t believe in Trinity, transfusion of blood and many other fundamental Christian beliefs?

    I know I can’t marry from other tribe. No that mine was better, infact, criminal exists in all tribes but firstly my parents will object to it and two, I don’t think I have strength for intertribal marriage. People in intertribal marriage deserve national awards.

    Because of my checklist of who I can’t marry, it helps me to focus my searchlight on Yoruba Christian lady going to a trouser and makeup permissive church from any part of the country.

    DEAR, yours doesn’t have to be mine but having such mental guideline will help you to determine whose proposal you can consider and who to give instant no to respectfully.

    👉 If you are rejecting his proposal, please reject his rides, money, time and gifts.
    The principle is, if he is not your type, his thing should not your type.

    👉 If you know your answer will be a yes, please give the answer either on the spot or within few days.

    My wife gave me her yes answer on the spot and I cherish her for not wasting my time.

    👉 You don’t need three months to pray on a proposal ooooo.
    If truly, you are a Christian with consistent relationship with God and Bible, first, you will know who deserves straight no and who is worthy of presentation to your heavenly father and I know your father won’t delay you.
    A month is okay.

    👉 Don’t despise any man because you reject his proposal.
    You don’t have to abuse, degrade or despise any man for asking you out.

    Na you no like am, there is one correct babe outside wey go lick am.

    Don’t damage someone husband with your mouth.

    👉 Do you accept his proposal? then say no to secret relationship.

  • Somebody’s child will find you.

    Somebody’s child will find you.

    Let’s start with this true story of mine. It happened in November 2020.

    Her: Master Joel, do you like 🥰🥰🥰 lady.

    Me: Yes, I do, ma.

    Her: As in very ❤️❤️❤️?

    Me: I am sure I like them like that 😄😃

    That was a phone convo with a former colleague of mine recommending her very beautiful friend of hers for me for a relationship that can lead to marriage.

    For brevity sake, the recommended lady and I met and talked but relationship didn’t materialize between us.

    Seeing/finding my wife under mango tree is the best feeling in the world.

    This year also, a senior friend recommended another godly lady to me who eventually became my wife.

    What am I striking at?
    Somebody’s child will find you but do you know somebody child knows somebody’s child that should find but you are unfindable because of your attitudes.

    Somebody’s child has a good friend that can marry but he knows your stubbornness can kill another woman’s child.

    Somebody’s kid has a godly sister that can make a good wife but she knows that your eye no dey stay one place.

    Somebody’s pikin want to recommend one of his/her for you but they are afraid that you may rub their faces in the mud through your behaviors.

    Dear, somebody’s child had somebody’s daughter/son for you that he/she think may find you but are you findable?

  • Somebody’s child will love you.

    Somebody’s child will love you.

    Happy new year. May you have a good year.

    Did you trying finding love last year and it didn’t work or you intended that some love should find but the search didn’t materialize?

    My brother or sister, don’t panic. Read this story of mine and put your mine at rest.

    The story goes this: I remembered telling this story before on Facebook.


    The story of a girl who came to my workplace for Teaching Practice.


    The lady is a Christian, educated, skillful and both of us were 100% singularly single as at then.

    Infact, I have 9/10 assurance that if I asked her out, she will obliged.


    But I didn’t. Why? I just don’t feel towards her. I can’t just say what happened, I just know I don’t jelly toward her.

    Fortunately, my LOML has the same skill set as my wife – bag making among others thing that my own do like event management, catering, teen coaching, etc.

    Sorry for digressing.
    The lady I didn’t ‘love’ became someone’s wife last November.

    The lady I didn’t felt for is now somebody’s son heartbeat.

    The lady my heart wasn’t jelly towards today has found someone whose heart has melted for her.

    What I didn’t like, someone love it.

    Even I, was rejected by 17 ladies but I thank God that my wife was 10x better than all of them in all manners.

    That someone did not see the gold embedded in your soil didn’t and wouldn’t diminish the gold in you.


    Somebody’s kid definitely will mine you one day.

    A farmer sees crop to bring out of the soil while a geographer is thinking of bringing out precious stones from the same piece of land. None is wrong and none of them is right, training differs.

    Somebody’s son will love you.

    Somebody’s daughter will be your wife.

    Somebody’s kid will employ you

    Somebody’s siblings will help you.

    Somebody’s child will find you one day.

  • HOW TO STAY SEXUALLY PURE IN A SEXUALLY CRAZY WORLD.

    HOW TO STAY SEXUALLY PURE IN A SEXUALLY CRAZY WORLD.

    It is becoming ever-increasingly difficult nowadays to live a sexually pure life in this sexually crazed and saturated world. A world that has sexualized everything from music to a common 100 naira soap.

    Even the church of God is not spared. Nowadays, we now use barely clad ladies as ushers to welcome visitors.

    Watch out for this book to celebrate the world sexual purity day.

    We are being bombarded daily with sexual scenes and near-sexual scenes on our streets, social media, television, workplaces and pathetically in fellowships but the word of God still stands that we must be pure in our sexual lives before and after marriage.

    First, we should know that to stay pure in this generation is possible. It is possible to marry as a virgin if you are determined to be. It is possible to remain untouched – no kissing, smoothing, no masturbation and no foreplay before the wedding if you will rely on the grace of God to hold you. Why? Because God will never lack those who are willing and ready to sacrificially serve Him in all generations.

    He can’t lack Josephs who are willing to say, ‘ how can I do this thing and sin against God,’ and are ready to abandon their ‘clothes’ to flee.

    He can’t lack the Joshuas who have determined to serve God even if He and his family are the only and affirmatively He won’t lack the 7000 men who have never kissed or bowed down to Baal in every generation.

    Do you care to join the leagues of Josephs, Joshuas and the 7000 men, are you?

    Now, how can you tread this path joyfully? One, TRUST GOD and His judgments, laws and guidelines that they are for your benefit. God did not hate you when He bade you that you should flee fornication. It was because He loves you.

    You got to trust the Almighty because He as Omniscient knows far more than you know. He knows that illegal sex can reduce someone life to a mere loaf of bread. He knows that sex can be weaponised to harm. Therefore, trust that God has you completely in His heart. Oh! What a loving father!

    Secondly, TRUST THE PROCESS that you won’t regret ever staying sexually pure in this corrupt world. The journey, the decision and the determination will eventually pay you.

    The world may look otherwise but you won’t regret opting out of the friendship that is pressurizing you for premarital sex.

    Trusting the process also signifies that you are the wise one even though the worldly system may regard you as a fool and the odd one out but remember what is highly esteemed by man is an abomination in the sight of the Lord.

    The injunction will save you from avoidable heartbreaks, unwanted pregnancy, unmet expectations, shame, a litany of exes and many avoidable damages to your body, spirit and soul.

    You can’t regret standing for and with God.

    Thirdly, DON’T TRUST YOURSELF because the power of your arm will fail because by flesh shall no man prevail, the opportunities to sin will always be present and it was your Spirit that got born again, your body, its hormones and your soul do not follow suit.

    Don’t trust yourself that you can sleep in the same room with the opposite sex and nothing will happen.

    Don’t trust yourself that just because you speak in tongues, you can watch porn and nothing will happen.

    Don’t really on your strength that because you are the winner of best choir member of the year, you can’t fall into the sin of immoralities.

    Don’t trust that immoralities won’t hurt you because God has been using you. Remember David, Solomon and Samson.

    If Judas Iscariot can fall away after performing many miracles, preached to many and received directly from Jesus, then who are you?

    Lastly, remember that this battle against immoralities is a battle again imagination, thoughts and actions as preached by unsaved celebrities, wokist, cancel culturists, Bible twisters and haters that raised themselves against the knowledge of God and we all know our weapons are not carnal.

  • 25 Quotes about Marriage.

    25 Quotes about Marriage.

    1. Marriage is extremely sweet.


    2. Marriage will change EVERYTHING about you.

    Blue is the colour.


    3. You are only similar [ similararity] to your partner by a nanosecond and different [differences] from him/her by a distance from the earth to the sun.


    5. For you to enjoy your Marriage, create a uniqueness albeit a godly one about it. Your partner is 100% different from your favourite celeb.


    6. Whatever you bring to the table of marriage, will be MAGNIFY.

    12. Sex is the least cause of friction in a marriage. Dear, Marriage is more than sex.


    7. You need the knowledge of understanding of marital differences than the knowledge of love.

    Lovey Dovey


    8. Embrace the difference between your spouse and you. Therein is lies your happiness.


    9. I think one of the greatest disservices, people of God has done to the unmarried is to tell them that physical likeness doesn’t matter for a happy marriage. My dear, if it is breasts, height, skin colour, bum bum, etc you like in your intended spouse, ask God for it but doesn’t ever over-desire physical over spiritual. Period.


    10. I discovered that the operating system in my wife and I is the same, but the apps on individual systems differ.


    11. The things that cause fights in the house are mostly inanimate objects like toothpaste, chairs, clothes, shoes, hairpins, etc.


    12. Sex is the least cause of friction in a marriage. Dear, Marriage is more than sex.


    13. If your manner of eating, sleeping, travelling, worship, enjoyment and ways of life generally is the same as at that of when you are single when you marry, I doubt if you marry properly.


    14. The concept of ‘two becoming one’ in marriage is so real that at a particular time, you started to reason and smell like your partner. Provided, you allow God.


    15. My dear unmarried brothers and sisters, please enjoy your singleness to the fullest. I am grateful to God that I thoroughly enjoyed mine.


    16. A good man may not be the right man. A good husband may not make a good husband.

    17. I don’t know how you enter your marriage but I can boldly tell you that love is not blind.

    18. Darling sister, saying yes to the man on the day he asked you out cannot make you cheap. One of the reasons I love my wife is that she didn’t waste my time.

    19. Never marry anybody who is not under authority.

    20. Talking about marriage is different from doing marriage. The former is theory while the latter should be practical.

    21. Your watchword in marriage should be devil, sin, diseases will not entered into this family through me.

    22. Marriage is not bondage. Ring is not a cell.

    23. Wedding is for a day, marriage is for every day.

    24. In your choice of matrimonial partner, don’t be selfish in choosing for your gratification alone but ask yourself, will this one be worthy of being a co-parent with me?

    25. Although marriage is of this earth but it is 100 percent spiritually run or did you think it’s natural to start living with someone you don’t know from Adam?

    Marriage is very sweet.

    Add yours.


    Thanks.

  • My Teachers, Happy Teachers’ day.

    My Teachers, Happy Teachers’ day.

    One of the profound definitions of teacher that I found relatable is that ‘ a teacher is someone who knows more and tries to impart those who know less.’

    Teaching is a noble profession and teacher in whatsoever ways they exist – schoolteacher, lecturer, trainer, pastor, boss, parents deserves commendation and celebration.

    Because they led me to where I am today by giving what they know up for me.

    If they didn’t teach me, I wouldn’t have known anything.

    Therefore, happy teachers’ day to all teachers worldwide

  • STOP KILLING YOUR KIDS!

    I’m angry. Very livid about the attitude of some of us.

    You are a killer! Yes I say you are a killer and God is going to judge your for using your child to fulfill your own failed dreams. Are you her? Is she you? Are you talented and gifted the same way?

    I am angry about one bad behavior by modern parents of rushing their children through school into emergency adulthood by enrolling them very early (probably by age 1) and helping them to skip classes along the ways chiefly because such kid is performing brilliantly in his/her academics.

    Many people have suggested the causes; Nigerian government unstable education policies, private schools owners, parents, society, etc., but the chiefest culprit are parents especially mothers because they want to do BRAGGING in church and their age grade groups that their kids finished University at 18 not knowing the damages they are inflicting on those kids.

    One thing parents should know is that that your kid skipped and he/she is still performing well in school doesn’t mean he/she is emotionally and morally okay.

    And rushing your kids through life is stealing their childhood away from them. Live and let your child live peaceably!

    Furthermore, that it’s not showing physically doesn’t mean damages are not being done to those rushed kids. It will show sonner or latter, morally and emotionally. What is the essence of having academically sound but emotionally and morally bankrupt individuals?

    Thirdly, there is no single advantage in rushing your child through pre-tertiary schools. I left my mates at primary 4 then to go J.S.1 skipping primary 5 to do so. Despite that, I am not richer, more educated or famous than those I left behind then. Infact one of them is my ward councillor now.

  • 5 Mistakes You Should Never Make Before Marriage.

    5 Mistakes You Should Never Make Before Marriage.

    I made mistake number 3 and partly made 4.

    The famous Bible writer said, ‘ The one who watches the wind will not sow and the one who looks at the cloud will not reap.’

    The Preacher called King Solomon David also said

    There is time for everything under the sun.

    A time to be given birth to and a time to die.

    A time to love and a time to hate.

    A time to have someone who calls you daily to tell you sweet nonsense and a time when nobody even ‘flash’ you.

    There is a time, a moment and a place for everything in life.

    But most of us make some silly mistakes while we are waiting for our dream man or woman and these 5 seemily harmless mistakes can cause sleepless nights in marriage.

    Here are the five mistakes you should never make before you marry:

    1. Waiting for a romantic relationship before having a profitable relationships.

    Immediately, most of us heard the word, relationship, what came to our minds, is having a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee or fiance but let it be known to all that romantic relationship is just one kind of relationships for us to have and that there are many types of responsible and godly relationships that should precede romatic relationship because building and fortifying those relationships will help us to have a good and happy romantic relationship. There are

    a. Parents-Child relationship.

    b. God-man relationship. He hates God and anything that has to with God and you think God-centered Marriage will be achievable with him?

    c. Friendship

    d. Sibling-sibling relationship

    e. Fellowship and Discipleship

    f. Employee-Employer  relationship

    g. Mentoring, etc

    Not having all these types of relationships before romantic relationship is setting oneself up for self-destruct.

    A person who doesn’t fear God, disregard his/her parents, always have one issue to settle with his/her sibling(s), sees opposite sex as plaything and is not under any authority is a walking weapon of mass destruction in romantic relationship.

    Dear readers, make sure you build all the mentioned relationships before thinking of having boy/girlfriend and date, court person with such solid foundations.

    2. Not Praying About Marriage Because You think you are not ready now.

    One of the biggest mistakes you could ever make maritally is preparing for battle at the battlefield, you are surely bound to be defeated. Same thing with delaying prayers about marriage – both its purposes and the partner because you think you are small in term of age or have a long way to go in other areas of human endeavors before thinking Marriage.

    Nooooo! Start praying now even if it is ten years to come.

    Pray for yourfuture spouse now.

    Pray for your future kids now. Pray about their births, schooling, Marriage, etc. now.

    Pray! Pray! My dear, pray oooooo! Don’t wait till when hormones are acting funny and pressures are mounting on you to settle down.

    Prayers are deposit and they work assuredly because God still answers prayers and the prayers of the righteous work.

    Pray for why, who, where and how of your Marriage.

    Pray about your in-laws.

    Pray about anything and for anything. Just make sure you start praying about your Marriage now even if it 15 years to come.

    3. Being Romantically involved with too many opposite sex.

    I made this mistake but God saved me.

    In as much as it right to build right qualitative platonic relationships here and there with opposite sex but being Romantically linked with too many opposite sex may lead to confusion when it is time to marry.

    Too many exes is damaging and show irresponsibility.

    To many opposite sex friend is not okay. That’s my exact mistake. They thought I was dating one of them whereas I don’t even have a girl.

    Consistent chatting and calling, visitation, etc to opposite sex who is not your potential spouse can create illusions.

    Make friends. But be careful to strike a balance.

    4. Suspending life purposes because you are waiting for Me/Miss Right.

    Simply put, putting your life, purpose, dreams, aspirations, yearning on hold because you want to marry or devoting all your time, resources, energies, vibes, prayers to finding a marital partner.

    Dear brothers and sisters, you don’t have to suspend life purpose because you are waiting for marriage, infact your partner should meet you in purpose fulfilling purpose.

    You don’t have to devote all your time and energy to partner ultimate search , infact the right one should meet you doing other profitable and godly things with your time, talent, resources, etc.

    Marriage is just a part of our lives that have impact on all parts of our lives. So don’t dare to suspend you because you want to marry.

    Run that blog now. Start that business now. Write that book now. Organise that webinar now. Just do something worthwhile now.

    5. Doing ‘Marriage’ before Marriage.

    Apart from the fact that doing Marriage before marriage will hamper your chance of happy Christian family, it will lead you to hell.

    Cohabitation, premarital sex, one night stand, prostitution, sleep overs and doing many wifely or husbandly duties often ungodly duties at ungodly hours, while single will seriously affect your chances of happy home.

  • The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 6).

    The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 6).

    A Letter to Goat without a yam and Yam without a goat.

    Dear Goat with a yam and Dear Yam without a goat,

    With upmost joy, I am writing this short epistle to you and I am happy because you are one of the luckiest category on Earth and well as those with goats and yams. Singleness is blissfulness. Enjoy it.

    Now, I will advise you

    • To stay on the farm. It is still the safest place to live and get a goat or yam and even after getting your goat or yam, stay there.
    • Look for your goat/yam on the farm. You will definitely see your specs on the farm.
    • While waiting for the yam, engage in profitable foraging and while waiting for the goat do make yam omelette, porridge, òjòjò†, etc with your life.
    • Continue doing what your Farmer-owner asks of you to do and
    • Let His decision overwrites yours. He alone knows what is fitting and suitable for you.

    If you can do all these, I can confidently say that your singleness will be blissfulness and your engagement will be heavenly.

    Signed

    A former goat without a yam for 8 straight years now with the sweetest yam on this side of heaven.

    † òjòjò is a cake made from grating yam and mixing with condiment and then fry with either palm oil or vegetable oil.

  • The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 5).

    The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 5).

    The Characters of The Farmer-owner.

    It was said in Ancient parchment that the association between the farmer, the goat and the yam is not easily broken and as such each got its uniqueness to differentiate the other from other farmers, goats and yam. Now let’s see the characters of the much talked about Farmer-owner who is both the rearer of the goat and planter of the yam.

    First of all, let me tell you that there are many wannabe farmers out there. Infact, their master is one short ugly guy who was a former labourer in the farm. The Farmer-owner gave him so much power until he thought it in his heart to have a more grander farm than his employer using the Master’s resources.

    He even co-opted lesser labourers into his rebellion.

    This former labourer and his minions do stole from goats, yams, vegetables, flowers, water, etc from the original Farmer-owner’s farm, changed their DNA to RNA – Rebel Now Acting, can even taught them language of the heavenly farm and released them to come and fellowship with the fellow goats and yams. So beware, not all bleating goats and fine yams you came about speaking the language of the farm are actually from the farm.

    Now, the characters of the Farmer-owner are:

    1. The Farmer-owner is ancient. Therefore, He has sure banker experiences on cultivation of goats and yams. You can trust Him to give you the best from his barn and pen.
    2. He has brought many goats to yams and vice versa through diverse means. He even promised in His ancient manual that no goat will lack a yam and vice versa. Rest assured, yours is being prepared.
    3. Furthermore, this Ancient Farmer has a farming manual which he called ancient parchment. In there, you know his dos and donts on how to find a goat, a yam, be a caterer, engage in productive foraging, made yam sauce, relate with other goats and yams and many more things He want to tell you. If you don’t read this parchment, your life may be trial and error.
    4. Also know this and know peace, your Farmer-owner is not a giver of the following to any products from his farm:
    • A goat/yam disturbing you for frying.
    • A goat/yam overuser. A goat that only know how to benefit from yam without being a benefit to yam and vice versa.
    • A hitter and an abuser of grace, gifts, body and words.
    • Community goats and yams.
    • Or any goat/yam behaving contrary to what was written in the Ancient parchment.

    If you supposed goat/yam has those behaviors, then know for sure that it is either s/he is probably drifting from the farm or s/he is originally from former labourer’s farm.

    Don’t mind that he/she joins other goats and yams to jollificate weekly and probably speak the language therein. The stealer of their souls has done that before to falsely accused a real GOAT.

    1. In addition, this Farmer-owner is firstly concerned about finding forages for goats, fertile soils for his yams, bringing goats to yams and yams to goats. So if you are not of his farm, go and meet you father, he too has your specific specs in barn and pen.
    2. Moreover, this awesome Farmer-Owner is not just a farmer. He is a vet doctor, a soil scientist, a rain maker, the rain Himself, a fertilizer, an insecticide, an herbicide and many more things. With you in his farm, your daily nutrients is guaranteed.
    3. Whereas, this Father-farmer will not force any goat or yam on you. He brings the goat or yam that is suitable for you, you do the talking.
    4. Lastly, this Farmer is expecting all his products back after declaring the harvest of his vineyard.
  • The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 4).

    The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 4).

    THE SWEETNESS OF A YAM.

    Goggle image

    As the Worth of the goat is not in the ability to fry so also the sweetness of the yam is not in being fried. If that’s all there to you, you may probably had started spoiling.

    Now, a good yam is not idly waiting for the goat to make an egg omelette with her. She is also making yam pottage with herself with expecting the real goat.

    Then, a responsible yam knows she is not for any goat. There is a specific goat for her specific yam from their Farmer-owner’s farm.

    Moreover, it is only bitter and rotten yams that peel themselves on soso media for likes. A real and worthy yam don’t and won’t.

    In addition, a sweet yam is also o not swayed by sweet bleating from various goats, their pockets or gyms bit she is only interested in who the Father-farmer said is hers.

    Now, ask yourself are you a sweet or rotten yam?

  • The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 3).

    The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 3).

    THE WORTH OF A GOAT.

    Goggle image.

    As far as football is concern, CR7 is my GOAT but I hope you know that CR7 is not all about football, there is philanthropy, business, husband and father’s side to this football GOAT of mine.

    The real worth of a goat is not in the ability to fry yam. If that is all you are planning to do then your goatness has dysentery but the Worth and joy of a goat lies in righteousness, peace and joy of the Holy Spirit.

    A real/potential GOAT doesn’t sleep off during morning devotion as a result of hangover from yesternight UEFA matches. A real goat is a priest of his pen

    Furthermore, the worthiness of a goat is also reflected in this fact that he is not after every yam he sees. He is okay with his given yam because he knows that the insulating material must be kept clean. A real GOAT is a defender of purity.

    …but a GOAT had a Farmer-owner…

    In addition, the joy of being a goat also shows in that while other ewu gambias are playing and kicking their yams about, he is most concerned about how to wash, clean, beautify and make egg sauce with his yam and yam products now or later. A GOAT is a caterer.

    A goat is not on social media arguing on why Bubu is taller than Ashi rather he is actively engaging in one productive foraging in order to prepare a barn for his yam. A real goat is a provider.

    Lastly, I wish to tell you that the goat may or may not have six packs, beard or deep pocket but a GOAT had a Farmer-owner because he is not a lone ranger and he is traceable to a pen.

    May the heavenly Farmer made us a GOAT indeed.

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