Without wasting time or without much Ado. Here are three jobs I’d consider doing full time even if money is not involved.
Number one is full-time teaching – any time any day. Why? Firstly, the act of transferring knowledge from the one that knows much to the one that knows less is both amazing and fulfilling. Amazing and fulfilling in the sense that you are probably raising the next generations of teachers who will teach your kids.
Secondly, you are sort of a celebrity because if it money, I doubt if you will find it in teaching but you will be quite known, be fulfilled and joyful.
The second career I might consider pursuing full time is Marriage/Relationship Counseling .
I love marriages especially happy ones and teaching people about what a Christian marriage, a tearless courtship, responsible relationships and convenanted friendships is all about is a subject I am keen about and this is more of what this blog is all about.
Happy Marriages give happy vibes, responsible offsprings and a better society.
The third job I might consider pursuing is Writing/Blogging/Social Media Influencing/ YouTubing because the ideas of capturing your thoughts down excellently and share it to various social media platforms are both noble.
Noble in the sense that writing promotes, energies, corrects and heals.
Thank you for being here reading this.
Now on the money part, I’m going to do all these or rather I am doing them now when money is not even heavily involved but we all work for money l, don’t we?
Finally, I want to hear from you, what are the three jobs you’d consider pursuing full time if money didn’t matter?
One of the sacrosanct pieces of advice you will hear from people when you are preparing for marriage is, ‘do not involve a third party in your marital affair.’ in a bid to protect your home.
Thank God Rev. Adewole didn’t give me such advice and I am not buying into that advice because we have family mentors who guide us on things that have to do with marriage.
The number one reason, although marriage is a personal and private affair but it is not a secret society where secrecy is the order of the day.
Dear reader, there is nothing you are doing in courtship and marriage that nobody shouldn’t hear.
By hearing, I didn’t mean social media broadcasting of everything happening inside your home or washing your clean and dirty linen in front of every Tom, Dick, and Harry. I mean your spouse and you have a senior accountability partner you reported to.
Furthermore, the reason why most nuptials pack up as a result of trivial issues is that most of such crises are beyond repair before they reach the marriage counselor’s office. If they have godly oversight over their home, such oversight could have guided them in handling crises.
Two, you haven’t married before. You probably haven’t given birth before. You haven’t lived up close with a pregnant woman before. You don’t probably know how to satisfy your partner sexually and we have godly couples who have successfully scaled all these stages and seasons of marriage.
Why not make use of their lessons and mistakes?
Why the trial and error approach?
If not for the guidance of our mentors, my family may have given way.
If not for the teaching of a third party we reported to, I would have hated my wife during the first trimester.
Thirdly, why live a life of irresponsibility?
In conclusion, a third party should not be an immature believer, young couple, or unmarried individual but rather a godly, mature, and old couple with verifiable evidence of a Christian family.
Thank God for the blessings of godly teachings by His servants and the gifts of powerful Christian writers through books, I can realistically say, nothing caught me unaware in my marital experiences.
My expectations weren’t dashed because they have been pruned through the experience and knowledge of Christian authors who write on marriage and relationships.
Dear, reading books on marriage will save you and your marriage before it even begins as you won’t be able to learn everything about marriage during premarital counseling.
But get this right from the start; it’s not by reading books but by applying the principles therein
Now, let me recommend 12 of such fantastic books:
1. Bible
The best book you should read in preparation for marriage is your Bible.
In this Greatest Book of All Time, God, the creator of the beautiful union called Marriage has already told you everything He has to tell you and everything you ought to know about marriage, parenting, sex, romance, and life generally.
Matter of fact, any other books you want to read about marriage should be about the explanation of what the Word of God said about a specific subject matter. No addition or subtraction.
Furthermore, I urged you to try to read it through, i.e., Genesis to Revelation, at least, once before you settle down to having a family because you might not have the opportunity later.
How can you achieve that? If you read 3 chapters per day, you will cover all the chapters in a year, and if you need a Bible Reading Plan for A Year, my friend, Oladele Damilare got you covered here.
2. How To Choose a Life Partner – 156 Questions to ask – Bimbo Odukoya.
I read this book over a decade ago and it still ring a bell in me.
This book listed 156 questions you ought to ask in courtship and the likely answers.
3. No More Two; God’s Principles for Marriage – Gbile Akanni.
This godly book by a world renowned pastor and brother talks about how to create a one-plus-one equal-to-one kind of matrimony. Very powerful book.
4. Single without Singe – Segun Ariyo
An insightful book on courtship, sexual purity, dating, and wedding. You can’t read this masterpiece and still be interested in pleasing the crowd during your wedding ceremony.
5. The Tearless Courtship – Alade Joel.
This one was powerfully written to prevent you from constant heartbreak. It takes it up from what is the definition of Christian courtship, the stages of courtship, 50 plays, 50 questions, and ends with the 7 rules of courtship for singles. Read on Amazon here
6. God doesn’t want you to be a virgin – Alade Joel
God’s will and plan for His children about sex is more than being a virgin. Infact it’s not his sole purpose for you to be one rather He demanded more from you.
This book highlights what is God will and purpose for you as a Christian single in this over-sexualized world concerning sex before and after Marriage. Discover here
7. Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married – Gary Chapman.
You have probably heard about 5 love languages by Gary Chapman but to me, though that is his most popular book but Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married is the bomb.
The number one thing you should know now is that like Mother, like Daughter is not a fluke. It is a reality.
This is the book that saved my relationship as it helps pruned all the nonsensical beliefs I had prior having any defined romantic relationship.
8. The 4 Seasons of Marriage; Secrets to a Lasting Marriage – Gary Chapman.
This masterpiece from Dr. Gary literally walk you through all the four seasons of marriage namely Autumn, Spring, Winter, and Summer.
Get it. Read and Apply it.
9. The 5 Love Languages. The Secrets to love that lasts – Gary Chapman.
You have heard about this bestseller that teaches you to speak to your spouse in a love language he or she understands.
A must-read for intending couple
Read and apply diligently.
8. Maintaining Sexual Purity – Sam and Folashade Oloyede.
Not only have I been under the ministration of these authors several time but they are also our family mentor and this point outlined in this book was a guiding light during my days weaknesses.
Among Christians, sexual purity is the norm, the standard and the code but how do you cope when it seems everyone is doing it. Get this amazing book and read it via a DM (08135446693).
10. His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage – Willard Harry Jr.
Prevention, they say is better than cure. I just read this and it really bless my understanding. This classic lists 5 things each for a man and woman’s need to prevent your partner from cheating on you.
11. Saving Your Marriage Before it starts – Les and Leslie Parrot.
Do you want to have a happy and fulfilling marriage? If yes, then this book is the right one for you. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is a wonderful book that shows you how your actions today will affect your future marriage.
This book will help you uncover the different myths in marriage, learn how to communicate properly with your spouse, discover the effective way to solve conflicts, manage your finances, and have a great sex life!
12. The Sacred Marriage – What if God Designed Marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy – Gary Thomas.
The idea that marriage is meant primarily to sanctify us has changed my entire view of marriage. God redeems the hard parts of our lives to make us more like Him, and that’s a beautiful way to approach those hardships we all experience in marriage.
Other worthy reads:
13. The power of a praying wife – Stormie Ormatian (for ladies).
14. The Fatherhood Principles – Myles Munroe (for men).
Reflection: Except Saving Your Marriage Before It Begins, (which I promise to read before the end of May), I have read all the aforementioned titles. Now, recommend a book for me and two, how many have your read from this list?
This is the 4th article on our treatise of God’s will. In part One, I defined God’s will as God’s command, instructions, likes, dislikes, guidelines and don’ts and dos.
Then in the second part, we discussed types of God’s will, e.g., sovereign will of God, commanded will of God, expected will of God, etc., while the third part highlighted God’s will as it concerns your relationships – be it marital or filial ones.
Now, this thing called God’s will, how do I know it and how I do I do it?
The only way to know His will is by reading His word – the Bible. Everything God has to say concerning anything to human beings, He has said and documented it in Bible.
Therefore, everything you wish to know about God himself, his works, what he likes or hates, how to do relationship with parents, siblings, unbelievers, believers, masters, slaves, employers and employees, etc., you got no choice than to read your Bible.
I have treasured Your word in my heart so that I may not sin against You. Psalms 119:11 HCSB
Don’t just read, meditate the word
I will recommend Youversion Bible app for your mobile Bible app. I’m using the Bible App. Download it now for your mobile device by clicking the red line.
Furthermore, be the doer of what you have read. You will not be justified for reading and meditating but be justified by doing what you read.
But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. Because if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man looking at his own face in a mirror. For he looks at himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. James 1:22-24 HCSB
What can help you do the word? Join a Bible believing Church, having a Bible believing and doing friends, read Christian books and sermons.
Additionally, if you think you can do God’s will by wishing or liking to do them, dear, you will fail. By the power of the flesh, no one will prevail. Because your body called Mr flesh that you are carrying just what to disobey God. He is anti-God. He wants to do what God forbids him to do but prayer can help you to put it under subjugation to you.
Prayers make release of grace, power and enablement to do God’s will.
Prayer will be made doing it easy for you and by praying you are simply acknowledging your deficiency for God’s sufficiency. In fact, ‘thy will be done on earth as it’s in heaven,’ is a prayer line taught by Jesus Himself.
Lastly, the greatest of Divine will is that you make it home to his feet at the end of the world. He wants you to receive the gift of salvation as bought for you by Jesus. The basis of starting to do God’s will starts with confessing Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior and ends with staying in Him till the end of the ages.
Let’s pray: Oh Lord, everlasting Rock of ages, let Your will be done in my life in Jesus name.
My name is Alade Joel Adetunji. A relationship, courtship and dating blogger, an amazon certified author, farmer cum teacher and a proudly Nigerian,
Presently, I am an author of three eBooks namely The Tearless Courtship, Pathways to Sexual Purity and A-Z of Content Creation. All available for free on Selar.com and on Amazon for $1.
If it pleases you, I want us to collabo on either a book, a YouTube video interview, a blog post or any worthwhile project that build, help and strengthen relationships, marriages and Courtships.
I remembered the story of Bro. John and how Pastor told the Media department to please off the mic on Bro John and mandated him to retake his discipleship classes.
Bro John was (and I believed is still) a Christian. He is the sort of Christian that you can adequately label firebrand, devil binding, tongued, holy and no-nonsense Christian. Mere relating with bro. John, you will think he belongs to S.U class of old but lo and behold! he is a thoroughbred orthodox.
Not all testimony is a testimony.
You can never see Bro. J as we used to call in that day with a fellowship sister gisting or playing and even if you see him with one it is with Sis. Shikemi, her fiancee and they are either praying or studying the Bible.
Do you think their Relationship is boring? You think so because you haven’t downloaded A Tearless Courtship and see that Christian courtship is not monotonous. Click to download.
Furthermore, bro. J stands on purity is well-known. No hfhkenhystericus 🤪🤪🤪 till hfmgfdtsee 🙄🙄🙄. Not even hftybffddtb. 😃😃😃.
By my description of Bro. J, you think he was some wacko, out-of-reality, earthly useless kind of Christian. Far from it, he is the definition of what a Christian should be in school, church, neighbourhood, etc.
To cut the long narrative short, John went to school. Graduated with flying colours. Secured a job. Married our dear sis. Shikemi and live happily after till one day, trouble sleeps, John goes and wakes him up!
It happened that the pastor permitted Bro J to speak to engaged singles during the church singles’ retreat on purity in Relationships. As per se, he will have practical examples of how God helped them ( sister shikemi and him).
On D-Day, it was now the turn of our speaker to chuck us with the word as Zibo Jnr Elabha used to do in RCCF house then, Bro John, said in impeccable Queenueen Elizabeth English
‘lemme first thank our daddy in the Lord for this fantastic opportunity. I celebrate you, sir. And to my wife of inestimable value, I love you.’
“Lemme start this teaching with a testimony. I don’t know what is wrong with you young people of nowadays. When I was single, a sister and I will sleep overnight and nothing will happen.”
“What did you just say,” the pastor asked.
“I say, when I was single, a sister and I can sleep overnight and nothing will happen and if a sister should naked herself in front of me, my body will not be moved,” he replied 🙆🙆🙆
That was how our pastor told the media people to off the mic and asked him to re-enrol in discipleship classes because it seems he missed some lessons.
Moral: not all testimony is a testimony. The ability to sleep overnight with the opposite sex who isn’t your blood is not a testimony, it’s a disgrace to your Christianity, misrepresentation of Christ and willfully tempting Satan.
That nothing will happen when an opposite-sex strip naked in your presence is not a testimony. It’s rather a testament that you are still human and can fall and falter so take heed to your heart and mind.
Courtship Forum 