Courtship Forum

Tag: Responsible relationship

  • 5 Mistakes You Should Never Make Before Marriage.

    5 Mistakes You Should Never Make Before Marriage.

    I made mistake number 3 and partly made 4.

    The famous Bible writer said, ‘ The one who watches the wind will not sow and the one who looks at the cloud will not reap.’

    The Preacher called King Solomon David also said

    There is time for everything under the sun.

    A time to be given birth to and a time to die.

    A time to love and a time to hate.

    A time to have someone who calls you daily to tell you sweet nonsense and a time when nobody even ‘flash’ you.

    There is a time, a moment and a place for everything in life.

    But most of us make some silly mistakes while we are waiting for our dream man or woman and these 5 seemily harmless mistakes can cause sleepless nights in marriage.

    Here are the five mistakes you should never make before you marry:

    1. Waiting for a romantic relationship before having a profitable relationships.

    Immediately, most of us heard the word, relationship, what came to our minds, is having a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee or fiance but let it be known to all that romantic relationship is just one kind of relationships for us to have and that there are many types of responsible and godly relationships that should precede romatic relationship because building and fortifying those relationships will help us to have a good and happy romantic relationship. There are

    a. Parents-Child relationship.

    b. God-man relationship. He hates God and anything that has to with God and you think God-centered Marriage will be achievable with him?

    c. Friendship

    d. Sibling-sibling relationship

    e. Fellowship and Discipleship

    f. Employee-Employer  relationship

    g. Mentoring, etc

    Not having all these types of relationships before romantic relationship is setting oneself up for self-destruct.

    A person who doesn’t fear God, disregard his/her parents, always have one issue to settle with his/her sibling(s), sees opposite sex as plaything and is not under any authority is a walking weapon of mass destruction in romantic relationship.

    Dear readers, make sure you build all the mentioned relationships before thinking of having boy/girlfriend and date, court person with such solid foundations.

    2. Not Praying About Marriage Because You think you are not ready now.

    One of the biggest mistakes you could ever make maritally is preparing for battle at the battlefield, you are surely bound to be defeated. Same thing with delaying prayers about marriage – both its purposes and the partner because you think you are small in term of age or have a long way to go in other areas of human endeavors before thinking Marriage.

    Nooooo! Start praying now even if it is ten years to come.

    Pray for yourfuture spouse now.

    Pray for your future kids now. Pray about their births, schooling, Marriage, etc. now.

    Pray! Pray! My dear, pray oooooo! Don’t wait till when hormones are acting funny and pressures are mounting on you to settle down.

    Prayers are deposit and they work assuredly because God still answers prayers and the prayers of the righteous work.

    Pray for why, who, where and how of your Marriage.

    Pray about your in-laws.

    Pray about anything and for anything. Just make sure you start praying about your Marriage now even if it 15 years to come.

    3. Being Romantically involved with too many opposite sex.

    I made this mistake but God saved me.

    In as much as it right to build right qualitative platonic relationships here and there with opposite sex but being Romantically linked with too many opposite sex may lead to confusion when it is time to marry.

    Too many exes is damaging and show irresponsibility.

    To many opposite sex friend is not okay. That’s my exact mistake. They thought I was dating one of them whereas I don’t even have a girl.

    Consistent chatting and calling, visitation, etc to opposite sex who is not your potential spouse can create illusions.

    Make friends. But be careful to strike a balance.

    4. Suspending life purposes because you are waiting for Me/Miss Right.

    Simply put, putting your life, purpose, dreams, aspirations, yearning on hold because you want to marry or devoting all your time, resources, energies, vibes, prayers to finding a marital partner.

    Dear brothers and sisters, you don’t have to suspend life purpose because you are waiting for marriage, infact your partner should meet you in purpose fulfilling purpose.

    You don’t have to devote all your time and energy to partner ultimate search , infact the right one should meet you doing other profitable and godly things with your time, talent, resources, etc.

    Marriage is just a part of our lives that have impact on all parts of our lives. So don’t dare to suspend you because you want to marry.

    Run that blog now. Start that business now. Write that book now. Organise that webinar now. Just do something worthwhile now.

    5. Doing ‘Marriage’ before Marriage.

    Apart from the fact that doing Marriage before marriage will hamper your chance of happy Christian family, it will lead you to hell.

    Cohabitation, premarital sex, one night stand, prostitution, sleep overs and doing many wifely or husbandly duties often ungodly duties at ungodly hours, while single will seriously affect your chances of happy home.

  • Unqualified Husbands And Wives: How We’re Pushed Into Marriage With Zero PrepBy Salma Ahmed

    Unqualified Husbands And Wives: How We’re Pushed Into Marriage With Zero PrepBy Salma Ahmed

    The average age of marriage in the Arab world ranges between 20 to 28 among women and 25 to 32 among men, but prior to them making things official and the big celebrations that follow, they were merely sons and daughters, with no knowledge of how to run a household.

    When you think of marriage, your mind automatically goes to spending your life with someone you love so dearly, the beautiful celebrations and the carefully-planed honeymoon. It is not often that someone thinks of the immense responsibility that comes along with it.

    You go from being treated like a child to becoming fully responsible for a household. You got bills to pay, cleaning to do, laundry to get done, a mortgage to worry about, and so much more.

    The idea of marriage is pushed onto us before we’re even old enough to comprehend it. A family friend visits and notices how adorable you are and suddenly, you’re her son or daughter’s significant other. 

    Girls grow up playing with kitchen appliances and baby dolls and boys grow up constantly hearing the phrase “the man of the house,” without ever understanding what it really means.

    There is so much that we don’t even think we need to learn until we become grown-ups overnight. You have to call one of your parents and ask them how to turn on the washing machine and google what is the easiest dinner recipe that can be cooked with the handful of ingredients you have in your pantry. READ MORE:

    Budgeting, taxes, grocery shopping and homeownership are just a fraction of the things getting married and moving out entail. We usually have a false sense of independence when we start earning our very own income, but that entire income is often fully wasted on luxuries like shopping and going out. 

    We never had to budget because even if our wallets are empty, we still have food in the fridge, the house bills paid, and both parents to “lend” us money that we both know will never be paid back.

    Marriage should be between two adults, who each can hold their own. Not an experiment where both parties are having their first taste of adulthood. 

    Parents believe that by making their kids’ lives easier, they’re shielding them and protecting them, when in fact they are raising them to be codependent adults, who can’t get a task as simple as cooking a meal done on their own.

    Our attitude toward marriage needs to change. It’s not just a joyful occasion in which two families are joint (and in some cases, a single-family is joint even further but that’s a whole other story). Marriage is a responsibility, which both parties need to know how to be homeowners and how to live on their own.  

    This article is wholly gotten from ScoopEmpire website via: https://scoopempire.com/unqualified-husbands-and-wives-how-were-pushed-into-marriage-with-zero-prep/

  • The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 6).

    The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 6).

    A Letter to Goat without a yam and Yam without a goat.

    Dear Goat with a yam and Dear Yam without a goat,

    With upmost joy, I am writing this short epistle to you and I am happy because you are one of the luckiest category on Earth and well as those with goats and yams. Singleness is blissfulness. Enjoy it.

    Now, I will advise you

    • To stay on the farm. It is still the safest place to live and get a goat or yam and even after getting your goat or yam, stay there.
    • Look for your goat/yam on the farm. You will definitely see your specs on the farm.
    • While waiting for the yam, engage in profitable foraging and while waiting for the goat do make yam omelette, porridge, òjòjò†, etc with your life.
    • Continue doing what your Farmer-owner asks of you to do and
    • Let His decision overwrites yours. He alone knows what is fitting and suitable for you.

    If you can do all these, I can confidently say that your singleness will be blissfulness and your engagement will be heavenly.

    Signed

    A former goat without a yam for 8 straight years now with the sweetest yam on this side of heaven.

    † òjòjò is a cake made from grating yam and mixing with condiment and then fry with either palm oil or vegetable oil.

  • The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 5).

    The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 5).

    The Characters of The Farmer-owner.

    It was said in Ancient parchment that the association between the farmer, the goat and the yam is not easily broken and as such each got its uniqueness to differentiate the other from other farmers, goats and yam. Now let’s see the characters of the much talked about Farmer-owner who is both the rearer of the goat and planter of the yam.

    First of all, let me tell you that there are many wannabe farmers out there. Infact, their master is one short ugly guy who was a former labourer in the farm. The Farmer-owner gave him so much power until he thought it in his heart to have a more grander farm than his employer using the Master’s resources.

    He even co-opted lesser labourers into his rebellion.

    This former labourer and his minions do stole from goats, yams, vegetables, flowers, water, etc from the original Farmer-owner’s farm, changed their DNA to RNA – Rebel Now Acting, can even taught them language of the heavenly farm and released them to come and fellowship with the fellow goats and yams. So beware, not all bleating goats and fine yams you came about speaking the language of the farm are actually from the farm.

    Now, the characters of the Farmer-owner are:

    1. The Farmer-owner is ancient. Therefore, He has sure banker experiences on cultivation of goats and yams. You can trust Him to give you the best from his barn and pen.
    2. He has brought many goats to yams and vice versa through diverse means. He even promised in His ancient manual that no goat will lack a yam and vice versa. Rest assured, yours is being prepared.
    3. Furthermore, this Ancient Farmer has a farming manual which he called ancient parchment. In there, you know his dos and donts on how to find a goat, a yam, be a caterer, engage in productive foraging, made yam sauce, relate with other goats and yams and many more things He want to tell you. If you don’t read this parchment, your life may be trial and error.
    4. Also know this and know peace, your Farmer-owner is not a giver of the following to any products from his farm:
    • A goat/yam disturbing you for frying.
    • A goat/yam overuser. A goat that only know how to benefit from yam without being a benefit to yam and vice versa.
    • A hitter and an abuser of grace, gifts, body and words.
    • Community goats and yams.
    • Or any goat/yam behaving contrary to what was written in the Ancient parchment.

    If you supposed goat/yam has those behaviors, then know for sure that it is either s/he is probably drifting from the farm or s/he is originally from former labourer’s farm.

    Don’t mind that he/she joins other goats and yams to jollificate weekly and probably speak the language therein. The stealer of their souls has done that before to falsely accused a real GOAT.

    1. In addition, this Farmer-owner is firstly concerned about finding forages for goats, fertile soils for his yams, bringing goats to yams and yams to goats. So if you are not of his farm, go and meet you father, he too has your specific specs in barn and pen.
    2. Moreover, this awesome Farmer-Owner is not just a farmer. He is a vet doctor, a soil scientist, a rain maker, the rain Himself, a fertilizer, an insecticide, an herbicide and many more things. With you in his farm, your daily nutrients is guaranteed.
    3. Whereas, this Father-farmer will not force any goat or yam on you. He brings the goat or yam that is suitable for you, you do the talking.
    4. Lastly, this Farmer is expecting all his products back after declaring the harvest of his vineyard.
  • The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 4).

    The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 4).

    THE SWEETNESS OF A YAM.

    Goggle image

    As the Worth of the goat is not in the ability to fry so also the sweetness of the yam is not in being fried. If that’s all there to you, you may probably had started spoiling.

    Now, a good yam is not idly waiting for the goat to make an egg omelette with her. She is also making yam pottage with herself with expecting the real goat.

    Then, a responsible yam knows she is not for any goat. There is a specific goat for her specific yam from their Farmer-owner’s farm.

    Moreover, it is only bitter and rotten yams that peel themselves on soso media for likes. A real and worthy yam don’t and won’t.

    In addition, a sweet yam is also o not swayed by sweet bleating from various goats, their pockets or gyms bit she is only interested in who the Father-farmer said is hers.

    Now, ask yourself are you a sweet or rotten yam?

  • The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 3).

    The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 3).

    THE WORTH OF A GOAT.

    Goggle image.

    As far as football is concern, CR7 is my GOAT but I hope you know that CR7 is not all about football, there is philanthropy, business, husband and father’s side to this football GOAT of mine.

    The real worth of a goat is not in the ability to fry yam. If that is all you are planning to do then your goatness has dysentery but the Worth and joy of a goat lies in righteousness, peace and joy of the Holy Spirit.

    A real/potential GOAT doesn’t sleep off during morning devotion as a result of hangover from yesternight UEFA matches. A real goat is a priest of his pen

    Furthermore, the worthiness of a goat is also reflected in this fact that he is not after every yam he sees. He is okay with his given yam because he knows that the insulating material must be kept clean. A real GOAT is a defender of purity.

    …but a GOAT had a Farmer-owner…

    In addition, the joy of being a goat also shows in that while other ewu gambias are playing and kicking their yams about, he is most concerned about how to wash, clean, beautify and make egg sauce with his yam and yam products now or later. A GOAT is a caterer.

    A goat is not on social media arguing on why Bubu is taller than Ashi rather he is actively engaging in one productive foraging in order to prepare a barn for his yam. A real goat is a provider.

    Lastly, I wish to tell you that the goat may or may not have six packs, beard or deep pocket but a GOAT had a Farmer-owner because he is not a lone ranger and he is traceable to a pen.

    May the heavenly Farmer made us a GOAT indeed.

  • The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 1).

    The Parable of Goat and Yam (Chapter 1).

    For Christian Single Brothers Only.

    You are a Goat. That sister that you used to call every 5AM, I meant the same sister you have shown to mentors, parents, friends and family is the Yam and God is both Goat rearer (Psalms 23:1) and Yam planter (John 15:1).

    Now, the Yam you have brought to God or the one He has brought to you must not be peel, tasted, touched inappropriately, played, fry, boiled, roasted and toasted until it’s appropriately approved because the law said, ‘thou shall not eat until it is appropriate.’

    Before reading on, I wish to tell you that some Yams are sweet yams, some are water yams, some are aerial, Chinese or bitter yam. Some are even yam lookalike but no matter what, you must not eat it.

    … Yam you have brought to God or the one He has brought to you must not be peel, tasted, touched inappropriately, played, fry, boiled, roasted and toasted until it’s appropriately approved

    And I wish to tell you that the desire to eat, peel, touch, boil, toast and roast is God-given and okay but until the acceptable time, no touching.

    Now, if you want to eat, boil, taste your yam, go and see the yam caterers (her parents) and paid and do the neccesary ‘fees’ and ‘rituals.’ You must do the appropriate ritual to be qualified to eat your yam and have it.

    After you have done the required, now you can boil, peep, roast, toast, grate, make egg with you yam but I am advising you don’t ever play your goat.

    After doing the above, then you move from being a goat to being a G.O.A.T.

    Do you understand or I should go depper?

    Stay tuned for part 2 (for Christian Single Sisters Only).

  • A trial will convince you.

    A trial will convince you.

  • YOUR VIRGINITY IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.

    YOUR VIRGINITY IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.

    Dear virgins, if virginity is all you have, you have a lot.

    “If virginity is all you have to give, get out and all the bla bla bla,” they roar. Even those who are not virgin and also senseless are attacking people that did many things they can’t do.
    Dear virgins, if virginity is all you have, you have a lot. The demeaning words of people against you shouldn’t move you.
    First and foremost, it is not easy to be a virgin especially in a world like ours. A world where immorality is dominating. A world where the church is not even free from it.

    Image source: Goggle.


    For you to be a virgin, it shows you are decisive in nature. You took a firm decision and you’ve kept it. This is a decision Bible study teachers find difficult to keep. This is a decision tongue speaking champions and those attacking you can’t keep. Do you know many who cried that I should help them overcome? Do you know someone following me up when I joined a fellowship was telling me to help him escape? Do you know many of your fathers in the church and home have destroyed teens?
    Many have advised you wrong, tried to entice you, to have you but you refused. That’s a very high level of decision. Keep it up. Decision is a trait that many lack and it shows you’re not only a virgin but a decisive human.


    To be a virgin shows you’re disciplined – sexual control cum self-control are rare characters in our generation. Even those who condemn your stance are as free as water, drinking water from every well.
    You have a higher tendency of doing exploits in life when you can control sexual desires and pressure, so, you’ve something to offer.
    Don’t allow the hate from people on your stand to wait till marriage affect you.
    Dear stupid counselor and influencers, if you’ve nothing to say or write, keep your mouth shut and stop expressing your ignorance.
    If they have sense, they’d have known this and rather than bash them, they’d have encouraged you and asked you to tell them how you did it.
    If you are able to control your zip in life, you’re able to achieve many things in life.
    C. N. Ebere.

    You have a higher tendency of doing exploits in life when you can control sexual desires and pressure, so, you’ve something to offer.

    Written wholly by

    Chima Nnaemeka Eberechukwu. Click here for link to original post

    C. N. Ebere – A freelancer and sexual purity advocate.

  • Fathers Also Deserve Gifting.

    ‘Honour your father and mother that it may go well for you, ‘ is a biblical instruction.

    Fathers’ day is a week to come and honouring fathers is a good idea, be it biological or spiritual or even fathers-in-law. They are our first examples, guardians, caretakers, correctors and husbands of our mummies. So therefore, they deserve a gift from us.

    Now, let’s establish this fact; most times, your dad isn’t expecting anything from you because he can afford it but you and I owned them everything we can afford now that we are ‘working’ and when they can’t work again. Why? Because they deserve it and two, ain’t they not human being like us again? Haven’t your dad sacrifice for you? Can we now share our little with them?

    Furthermore, you can get any of these for your dad:

    1. Obedience. You are still his child.

    2. Visitations

    3. Perfumes/ Body sprays.

    4. Rechargeable torchlight.

    5. Ties.

    6. A couple of Cufflinks.

    7. Wines

    8. Polo shirts/ shorts/ sewn clothes.

    9. Wristwatches.

    10. Shaving kits

    11. Beloved club jersey.

    12. Favorite Artiste’s CDs ( maybe old albums that you knew he does enjoy while you are growing up).

    13. Writing materials.

    14. Travel kits.

    15. Finance a night out with long time buddies.

    16. Recharge cards.

    17. Recreations kits.

    18. MP3 player.

    19. Cinema outings.

    20. Sponsor honeymoon that includes his wife.

    These and many more befitting gifts is meriting of your dad and any other man you called dad. Recollect that most of these dads can afford those stuff comfortably but you are giving it because you love your dad.

    To make it a waoh moment, plan it with your sibling and his wife.

  • 20 Super Gifts For Super Mom.

    20 Super Gifts For Super Mom.

    Hurray! Another Mother’s day is here and we love moms! Don’t we?

    My mum

    I love my mum❤️. I am sure you love yours too. Mums are shelter we run to when dads start behaving daddy. They are our first teacher, pastor, advisor, expert, LOML 🥰, and girlfriend; all roll into one.

    Convincingly, Mothers are super and they deserve superb treatments from our tokens appreciatively. Not because they cannot afford these things but because they are worthy of our acknowledgement of services and deserve honour as Bible outlined it in Exodus 20:12 and Ephesians 6:1.

    Now, these are list of 20 gifts for your super mummy during Mother’s day, holidays, her birthday, matriculation, anniversary, graduation, etc:

    1. Listening ears ( most of them don’t get this from our fathers when we are growing up).

    2. Visitation ( especially by her grandchildren).

    3. Aso-ebí clothes.

    Remember MOTHERS DESERVE THE BEST.

    4. Cooking kits ( remember she is still that innocent girl that fall in love with dad).

    5. Recharge cards ( she is gonna use all the credits to call you😃).

    6. Pyjamas.

    7. A bottle of wine 🍷.

    8. Flat-helled shoes.

    9. Fancy pillow cases.

    10. Cardigans and wool socks ( for oldies).

    11. A bottle of nice perf.

    12. Call.

    13. Cash transfer ( no girl hates credit alert).

    14. 6 yards of Ankara or lace materials.

    15. Beverages.

    16. Electric Blender/Grinder.

    17. Jewelry.

    18. Wigs ( for mummy that are still young).

    19. MP3 player

    20. A pack of assorted ponmo

    21. A date with either one of her old best friend or church group and

    22. A responsible spouse that gives you peace of mind.

    Trust me, our mothers deserve the best of everything we can think of. Our gifts can never pay for the love they have showered on us and if your mom gave you the best of her you cannot get from others, so why don’t you give her best of what you are.

    Friends, what other gift can we buy for mom?

    Remember MOTHERS DESERVE THE BEST.

    Pack of dried cow skin called ponmo.
    Bale of Ankara.

    Images courtesy of Google.

  • STOP MARRIAGE-SHAMING US

    STOP MARRIAGE-SHAMING US.
    Dear married friends especially female ones.
    We thank God for our friendship turned brothership, sistership and siblingship. We also appreciate you for being there for us through our thick and thin and we are very happy that you have ‘left’ our hood to be happily joined to your spouse. We hope to join you soon if Christ tarries.
    But we have many allegations against you. Number one; since you married, you seem to have forgotten us. Our calls you hardly pick and you never call. Even our DMs are not reply for 2 weeks when we do to check on you. It’s because you are married or you thought we ain’t mates again?
    Needless to say, you stop attending our gym class, hangouts, party and those fun moments because we missed your contributions or are we going to learn about good marriage if not from experienced friends?
    Thirdly, why is it that each time we are chanced to discuss about life, you would have said ‘you better go and marry’ three times. Does marriage confer sense, money, sense of responsibilities or salvation? As far as we know, it doesn’t give all these, so stop pressurizing us.
    And to those who are our younger sisters i.e those of you we are older than who now want us to be prefixing their names with aunty or mummy so-so, we wish to emphatically tell you, your marriage have not reduce our ages. We are still your elder brothers and sisters.
    Lastly, if you won’t stop marriage-shaming and marriage-peppering us or else we too, we can single-shaming you. Okay, can you spend money anyhow? Can you go out permission? Do you have ‘freedom?’ Apart from ability to unsinfully and unashamedly have sex, there is virtually anything you guys can do that we can do whereas there are many thing we can do that you dare not do… Lol.

    Signed

    Association of Single Brothers and Sisters.

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