Courtship Forum

Tag: #reviveyourrelationshipchallenge

  • Day 23 – Desires or Demands?

    Day 23 – Desires or Demands?

    Before marrying, we all had ideas about what married life would be like. We played out scenarios in our heads and spent our dating lives mulling desires in the backs of our minds. When we married, we made our spouses responsible for fulfilling those desires. “I do” was barely out of our mouths when we placed the burden of our needs on our spouses’ shoulders.  That burden set our spouses and our marriages up for failure. Eventually, our desires became demands, and that’s when problems arise. What was once, “I hope our marriage…” became, “You promised to…” Demanding that your spouse meet your needs is a recipe for disaster.  When our desires become demands or expectations, our marriage relationships begin to resemble contractual partnerships. In a contract marriage, promises are made, and both husband and wife look to each other to keep those promises. In that kind of marriage, everything is okay as long as husbands and wives do what’s expected of them—what they owe. But when they miss a payment, the penalties can be swift and severe. After all, contracts don’t often include clauses stipulating grace and forgiveness.  The opposite of a contract marriage is a covenant marriage. In a covenant marriage, both husband and wife put the other’s needs first. Each spouse is committed to loving the other unconditionally and without demands. That’s the kind of love God shows us—the kind he has designed to be the fuel for thriving marriages.  Unfortunately, not every marriage is a covenant marriage. And even in covenant marriages, it’s impossible for husbands and wives to completely meet each other’s needs.  If we have God-given needs our spouses can’t meet, what can we do? Ignore those needs? Pretend they don’t exist? Suppress our desires in an attempt to be selfless? Should we just abandon the hopes and dreams we brought with us into marriage? In a letter written to the early church, the apostle Peter offers a different solution:  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6–7)  God didn’t design your marriage so your spouse would meet all of your needs. Your spouse will meet some of your needs, but only God can meet all of them. His plan is for you to depend solely upon him.  In thriving marriages, each spouse trusts God to meet their needs without making demands of the other. Your desires and dreams will always matter to God, even when they don’t seem to matter to your spouse. Bring them to God, and you’ll find that he gives you the strength and grace to carry on. 

    Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time,
    1 Peter 5:6 HCSB

    Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
    Philippians 2:3‭-‬4 HCSB

    Gotten from Youversion Bible app Thriving Marriage plan Day 4

  • Day 22 – Revive.

    Thank you for journeying with me on this #ReviveYourRelationshipChallenge. I am not taking it for granted.

    Today, I want you to think of an activity that you and your partner used to do then to sweeten your relationship that you have abandoned now.

    Is it reading together? Fellowship together? Visiting friends and family? Family day of fasting and prayer? Sleep on the same bed? Calling/texting/DMing? Word of affirmation? Quality time together? Me-moment?

    Go and revive those beautiful moments again.

    Gratitude. See you tomorrow.

  • Day 21 – Be Angry.

    This post was written by Mrs. Hyacintho

    When my Loveband and I are angry at each other for those brief moments, our behavior remains the same as when we are at peace in the home.

    Mrs. Hyacintho. You can follow her on Facebook via VOICE of a Goodwoman.

    Our moments of anger does not stop us from doing the things that was built by our moments of peace; like serving each other, chatting each other up, picking up our calls, going to bed together, watch TV together in the living room, etc, that would not be fair on our home at all.

    Do you understand what I mean?

    Our happy moments created the joy and happiness we enjoy in our home, it would be unfair to allow our moments of anger destroy what peace have established for us.

    We have a very high regard and respect for each other, this we have built through the instruments of love and understanding, we cannot allow our brief moments of misunderstanding put all that we have built to waste, because we decided to choose disrespect instead of patience.

    Listen to me you two;
    Be angry for a time, it’s okay to feel hurt by your spouse, we are not all perfect, such moment will surely come, but let the fruit of your anger never destroy the things that the fruit of your love and peace produced in your home.

    Be angry and serve your husband his meal.

    Be angry and run him a bath if that’s the norm in your home when there is peace.

    Be angry and watch your TV shows together.

    Be angry and eat together.

    Be angry and sleep on that bed.

    Be angry and greet your spouse in the morning.

    Be angry and still honour the family devotions.

    Be hurt and still observe other protocols that has been sustaining the joy and happiness in your home until you discuss and make peace with each other.

    Let no unwholesome words come out of your mouth. This are basic Biblical principles that should stay consistent whether you are angry or not.

    It is independent on your mood swings or feelings at any point in time.

    Your words are spirit and they are life! This principle is independent of who was right or wrong as well. It holds no regard for who should apologize first or who apologized the last time.

    It doesn’t matter if you are angry or joyful, at no point should nonsense be produced from you.

    #voiceofagoodwoman
    #warwivesfellowship
    #bymywordsonly

  • Day 20 – Volunteer

    Day 20 – Volunteer

    Waoh! 20 days down! 7 days to go! Hmmmm! That is a perfect number.

    I hope you tried my Zobo drink yesterday? Or you are gonna try it today? Anyhow, make sure you try it out with you partner someday.

    One of ways, I believe husband and wife can strengthen their relationship is working together and one of those ways of working is volunteering together for a godly and common cause.

    In addition to strengthening your bond, volunteering together will help in the following ways according to Zaytoen Domingo :

    • Travelling (volunteering) with someone else can be easier.
    • You’ll see the best in each other.
    • You can build a closer relationship. Helping people can trigger love hormone named oxytocin 😍
    • You won’t get sick of each other.
    • You’ll learn to work as a team.
    • You can double your impact. Talk about two chasing ten thousand.
    • Volunteering can help you find a common purpose
    • Some experiences are best shared.

    What can you volunteer to do?

    1. Start a Bible club on your street.

    2. Donate a Bible here for Evangelism purpose

    3. Visit the mission field

    4. Join a mission minded organisation.

    5. Join the local Christian group supporting Christian cores, norms and values.

    6. Children and adult Sunday school teacher.

    7. Volunteer to take cards to a nursing home.

    8. Have a one-day mission trip in your community and do some yard work.

    9. Volunteering during church wide “mission week.

    10. Volunteering at a food bank or clothes closet.

    11. Children’s Christmas program/play director volunteer.

    12. Volunteering during church wide “mission week

    13. Volunteering to clear the bush or drain the blocked water ways.

    14. Volunteering as ushers/greeters/communion helpers/ security volunteers

    15. Volunteering as fundraiser for local ministry.

    To know more click here or volunteer here

    Finally, let’s closed with the word of our Lord Jesus Christ from Matthew 25:34‭-‬37‭, ‬39‭-‬40; Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you took care of Me; I was in prison and you visited Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and visit You? ’ “And the King will answer them, ‘I assure you: Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’ (HCSB)

  • Day 19 – How to make cool Zobo drink

    Day 19 – How to make cool Zobo drink

    Welcome to day 19th of #ReviveYourRelationshipChallenge.

    Please if you haven’t practiced any of the tips I have been sharing I urged you to make an habit of day 16, 17 and 18 tips, i.e., studying the word of God together as a family, praying together and eating the flesh and drink the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.

    Today, let’s me teach you how to make Zobo drink but firstly of all, what is Zobo drink? Zobo drink is a Nigeria natural drink gotten from boiling of hibiscus flower that is best served cold.

    What are the benefits of this drinks:

    1. It can be used as Communion wine. It’s perfectly non-alcoholic.
    2. It contains antioxidants that prevent diseases
    3. Hibiscus leaves help your body to break down food easily and keep your liver on good shape
    4. Hibiscus leaves is an antibacterial which fight different bacterial infection in the body system.
    5. It helps in lowering blood pressure.

    Recipes.

    • Hibiscus leaves
    • Garlic cloves
    • Ginger
    • Pineapple
    • Any sweetener of your choice
    • Water

    Steps.

    • Wash and peel the pineapple, thereafter cut it into small bits in a bowl
    • Wash the hibiscus leaves and put it inside a pot for it to boil
    • Add the pineapple, the ginger and garlic into the boiling leaves then cook for 15 – 20 minutes
    • Strain the juice with the strainer and then add any sweetener of your choice to it
    • Serve it when chilled

    Thanks for trying it out. If you need fresh hibiscus flower, DM Victoria ( the writer of this article) via 0703 233 8012

  • Day 18 – Eat.

    Day 18 – Eat.

    Today is the 18th day of our #ReviveYourRelationshipChallenge. Thank you for engaging.

    Today’s will be short. We have read our Bible and pray, now let’s eat the Lord’s flesh commonly called the Lord’s Supper or the Communion.

    You said I don’t have unleavened bread at home? Go and buy biscuits or use that leavened bread and that non-alcoholic drink. Faith is what matters.

    I am not a priest? Dear husband, you are a priest in your family.

    We are not church? It’s not the number that made the Church, it is the called out of God’s elects irrespective of their numbers.

    The Bread (the flesh).

    In the name of the Father, Son and of the Holy Spirit… While they were eating, Jesus took bread, spoke a blessing and broke it, and gave it to the disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is My body.”

    The wine (the blood of Jesus).

    In the name of the Father, Son and of the Holy Spirit… Then He took the cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is My blood of the covenant,e which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it anew with you in My Father’s kingdom.”

    I want to conclude this episode with this assurance that if you truly do the last two days plus this one, nothing will move your family

  • Day 17 – Pray

    Day 17 – Pray

    Let’s start today’s episode of #ReviveYourRelationshipChallenge with Jesus’ word that miracles cannot happen except by fasting and prayer.

    Numerous instances abound in the word of God of those who prayed either as individuals or as a couple.

    Abraham and Sarah prayed. Manoah and his wife prayed for Samson. Isaac and Rebecca also prayed over their childlessness. Elkanah and Hannah prayed too and God answered them.

    Also, I can boldly say this, it’s a principle I have practised and established to be true in my family and will uphold jealously.

    Praying together as a couples and praying individually for your spouse is one of the most powerful weapons you have again divorce and for building intimacy in your marriage

    Mary Fairchild

    In addition to bible reading and studying, pray as a family, for God has promised us that two will chase ten thousand because of this assurance that everything we asked confidently according to His will in Jesus name, He will do it.

    Now, how do we pray? We pray in Jesus’ name. What do we pray about? Anything and everything – family, careers, children, mental health, safety, brothers and sisters, in-laws, church, MoGs and WoGs, Missionaries, political leaders, traditional leaders, neighbours, colleagues, enemies, policymakers, etc. When should pray? Anytime.

    Furthermore, Jesus says ‘where two or more people in My name, I will be there ‘ and ‘whatsoever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven and whatsoever you bind on earth will be bind in heaven.

    Finally, I want to motivate us with this hymn by W. W. Williams titled Sweet Hours of Prayer :

    1 Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer! 
    that calls me from a world of care, 
    and bids me at my Father's throne 
    make all my wants and wishes known. 
    In seasons of distress and grief, 
    my soul has often found relief, 
    and oft escaped the tempter's snare 
    by thy return, sweet hour of prayer! 
    2 Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer! 
    the joys I feel, the bliss I share 
    of those whose anxious spirits burn 
    with strong desires for thy return! 
    With such I hasten to the place 
    where God my Savior shows his face, 
    and gladly take my station there, 
    and wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer! 

    3 Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer! 
    thy wings shall my petition bear 
    to him whose truth and faithfulness 
    engage the waiting soul to bless. 
    And since he bids me seek his face, 
    believe his word, and trust his grace, 
    I’ll cast on him my every care, 
    and wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer! 

    P.S: Why can’t you pick together to pray? 5 minutes can do wonders.

  • Day 15 – Study.

    Day 15 – Study.

    I am sorry that I couldn’t bring up #ReviveYourRelationshipChallenge. There was a need to reset my phone to factory settings last Saturday which leads to lost of many things – documents, contacts, images, passwords, etc., including the guide of this challenge.

    Presently, I am trying to recover some of those lost items via Google.com but life must continues.

    Today, our focus is study and what I want you to study is the word of God together. Take a book of the bible and study together. It will help your family and strengthen the bond of love.

    I don’t want you to make this a one-time affair but a daily consistent doings.

    But how do I do this? Follow this simple three steps; decide on the book of bible together (I will suggest Song of Songs 😍😍😍) and read verse by verse, one after the other and take it slowly and lovingly.

    Benefits of Reading Bible together.

    1. It makes you to know about God and His will for your as a family.
    2. It deepens your commutation.
    3. It enhances family prayer life

    To round today off, let’s read together, Song of Songs chapter 2, verse 15; Catch the foxes for us — the little foxes that ruin the vineyards — for our vineyards are in bloom.

  • Day 14 – Can you Read and Write?

    Good day, my dear followers. Today is the 14th day of our #ReviveYourRelationshipChallenge. Thanks for all the liking, sharing and the comment so far.

    Hope you are not surprised about my caption for the post; can you read and write? Of course, you can literate! That’s why you are here in the first place.

    Now, do and take a pen and a sheet of paper and write a lovely letter to your partner.

    But you are not going to post this one neither are you going to hide it where they can see it but you are going to read it to your LOML.

    Thank you for complying.

  • Day 13 – Do

    Day 13 – Do

    What’s time are we? (Please tell me the time in your place right now in the comment section. I am publishing this at exactly 1pm, Nigerian time)

    Welcome back. Right now it is #ReviveYourRelationshipChallenge O’ clock.

    How far with spreading complements across 5 different hours yesterday? Hope you did it?

    Today, in order to revive or strengthen your relationship, do chores together with your partner or help your partner in doing chores especially the one he/she hates doing.

    Take the dirty clothes outside to the washing machine.

    Take the trashcan out.

    Go to his/her wardrobe, go and help iron or arrange all those scattered clothes.

    Help her to clean the kitchen.

    Mop the floor together.

    Set the table.

    Mow the lawn.

    Take the kids out.

    Walk the dogs out.

    Go grocery shopping.

    Etc.

    Just do a chore together and have opportunity to communicate, profess love for one another, plan together and pray together while doing chores.

    I love you.

  • Day 11 – Complémentation.

    Day 11 – Complémentation.

    First of all, scroll down and click follow button so that you can be enjoying all my thought-provoking gentlemanly articles.

    Today’s episode is called Complementary episode and here is what we are going do to;

    • Think of 5 complements for your partner, e.g., I love you, You are the most beautiful/handsome person I ever met, etc.
    • Divide today in 5 parts, e.g 12am, 10am, 12pm, 3pm and 8pm.
    • Assign a complement to a particular time hour.
    • Send the complement either through SMS, DM, Short note to be hidden where LOML can see it, sweet whisper to ear, verbal, etc. Just make sure your partner has 5 Complementary messages from you today.

    For example:

    12am – I love you (short note to be hidden in the bible/dinning room/planner/etc.

    5am – You are the most beautiful/handsome bae/guy I ever seen (verbal to be said while he/she is dressing up for work 😍😍😍)

    10am – Thank you for providing for this family❤️❤️, I appreciate your effort in making sure this family is in great shape, Thank you for joining me in planning for a great future, etc. (SMS)

    3pm – You are the best husband/wife/fiancee/fiance in the world (DM)

    8pm – I love you (sweet whisper)

    It is not compulsory to use my time division or time just use it a template for yours.

    Lastly, thank you for joining me (and for following me as well as liking my post) and commenting on today’s episode of #ReviveYouRelationshipChallenge.

    I love you

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Day 10 – My fear.

    Day 10 – My fear.

    Everybody has a phobia. Something he/she is afraid of.

    Some are afraid of losing their spouses either by way of heartbreak 💔, divorce 😠 or even death 😭.

    Some are afraid of losing their job, career opportunities, etc.

    What of possibilities of falling health, drunk driver, loneliness, accident and many unforseen circumstances.

    Today, share your fear with your partner. The fear may even be the fear of losing him/her or the fear of how your Relationship might look like in the nearest possible time.

    Don’t be afraid, just say your mind.

    Rather should you panic or ask accusingly. This moment of asking is not to confirm whether you are right and your partner is wrong or vice versa. It is a time to clear all confusion.

    Meanwhile, ask your partner, his/her fear too. Maybe for two of you, it may be False Experience Appearing Real. Two, perfect love casts out fear for God has not given us the spirit of fear but of sound mind.

    That’s all I have for you today on day 10 of #ReviveYourRelationshipChallenge. Make sure you comment, like and follow me.

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