Category: COURTSHIP

  • 5 Must make decisions before turning 20.

    This message is for teenagers because I strongly believed that how you lived your life in your teen ages will have an impact on your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc a also observed very many of today’s teens are living scary life that may cause a deep scar tomorrow and that most of these behaviours are preventable.

    Note this; my dear, you cannot live a perfect life but you can live a life that you won’t be ashamed of today.

    Now, today, before you hit your 20s onwards, make the following decisions. I made those decisions while I was a teen and I did not for once regretted ever doing so.

    1. Decide to accept Jesus Christ now.

    I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior before I aged 20 and that singular decision helped to shape and sharpen my choice of knowledge between evil and good because I already know what is good in the sight of the Lord and what is bad and the consequences thereof.

    Making this decision early will help you too, to avoid many avoidable mistakes in life and will preserve your life.

    This fantastic decision will set you on path of destiny fulfilment early in life. That great, world renowned evangelist Reinhard Boonke became born again aged 9 and started his ministry aged 16. We all know how God used his Evagelistic outreach, CfaN for harvest of souls in Africa. I was one of them. Same thing with Pastor David Ibiyeomi of Salvation Ministries in Port Harcourt – also gave his life to Christ early and started the journey of purpose delivery early.

    My dear, you cannot live a perfect life but you can live a life that you won’t be ashamed of today.

    If you accept Jesus Christ now, it will save you many years of tools, struggles and scars and you can’t regret ever doing so.

    2. Decide to live right.

    Bible said, ‘Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself with the king’s rich foo…’ Daniel was 17 years old boy in captivity when that decision was made and later saved him for den of lions and made him president of the presidents in a foreign land.

    What does it mean to decide to live right? It means to shun evil now.

    It means to depart from sin and all appearance of sin now.

    It means to shun premarital sex.

    It means to stop unhealthy behaviors like drug abuse, cultism, thuggery, overeating, smoking, immorality and perversion.

    It also means embracing the fruit of the Spirit as listed in Ephesians 5:22-23 (NIV)

    But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

    It means truth telling at all times.

    It means standing for what is true, holy, reasonable and of good report at all times.

    I reaped the benefit of my decision to shun premarital sex till wedding nite 2 weeks after wedding.

    3. Quality relationships and bridges.

    The world is run based on relationships and connection.

    Somebody knows someone who has what you need.

    Somebody knows someone whose daughter/son will be a good spouse.

    Somebody knows someone who can recommended you for a job. A friend once done that for me.

    There is someone who can help, build, advise you and set you on the path of destiny alignment.

    But you have to build a good relationships and bridges to access all these benefits and more. Such

    Such relationships including friendship, mentorship, discipleship, leadership. The quality of those relationships and more that you build now will definitely served as your springboard later in life.

    Though social media allow anyhowness, but you as a someone with future must build a great online relationships courtesy of respect. No everybody on social media is your age mate or grace mate

    My late father-in-law’ quality relationships that was built as at the time he was alive 11 years worked for us during our wedding ceremony.

    Caveat; build only godly relationships.

    Click here to read the gifts of relationship and download The Tearless Courtship -a simpler guide to Christian dating and courtship free of charge

    4. Have a skill.

    Financial skills like tailoring, baking, plumbing, content creation ( check the E-book section to download my Ebook titled A-Z of Content Creation), graphic designing, web design, Ads manager, bricklaying, amazon KDP, IoT, app development, YouTubeing, bag making, catering, event planning, computer and GSM repairs, blogging, etc.

    Spiritual skills such as constitent bible reading, quiet time, fasting, constant fellowship with the brethren as occasion demands, prayers, tithing, alm giving, ministerial work, volunteering for Church works, etc.

    Survival skills like making money, budgeting, cooking, reading, safe internet browsing, saving, investing, etc.

    Advantages of having skills at tender age ; you learned at the prime of your time because your basic needs will be provided by your parents, i.e., focused, you learn your mistake early and correct it early and lastly, by the time you are in your mid-20, you have become an expert in that field

    5. Decide to pray now.

    Many Christians are reactive Christians. They only pray after calamity instead of praying to prevent it. Talk about medicine after death.

    Talk about prevention is better than cure, prayer is the real prevention because you don’t have to do it when you don’t have problem. You can do it now to acknowledge God as your source, secure your future (carrer wise, financially, maritally, for unborn kids, inlaws, coworkers, neighbors, etc) and avert future problems.

    Dear, I can assure you; if you don’t pray jejely now when you have no kid to feed, no rent to pay, no inlaws to visit, no spouse to love and no ‘ responsibility ‘, you will pray violently when responsibilities keep dropping on top of one another like bag of bean.

    I repeat; the best form of prayer is preventive ones

    Thanks for reading. I will like to hear your thoughts and questions in the comment section.

    Remember to subscribe to my YouTube channel via Alade Joel

  • 6 Ways to defend your Spouse.

    6 Ways to defend your Spouse.

    A good spouse should be able to wade off insults, disrepute, disrespect, ruly behaviors and whatnots from his/her spouse. Especially wife from husband’s family.

    But how to defend your spouse? I believe you can defend your spouse even before you are married and these following acts can help us:

    1. TELL THEM NOW.

    Long before I was married, I have told my mom that my own wife won’t be able to be doing olobinrin ile (because of some flaws I observed in the system) and that my wife is my wife, my brother’s wife is his wife (nothing like orogun here ooo).

    My point; if there is any family or tribal tradition that you won’t want your future spouse to take part in, start telling them now. Right before you even brought that LOML.

    2. DON’T EXPOSE YOUR SPOUSE.

    You can’t be telling your family about bad things you fiance(e)/spouse always do than the good that he/she does and expect your people to regard his/her high.

    They are human. You have the same blood. They are supposed to see that no harm harms you. So if you are always telling them bad news about LOML, they will see that person as someone out to destroy their son/daughter which they are bound to resist.

    Tell them about good things about your love or shut up.

    3. PREVENTION IS ALWAYS THAN CURE.

    You know your LOML. His/her likes and dislikes.

    You know your family and everybody there too. Their likes, dislikes and traditions.

    Let’s each party know what is up respectfully.

    While I was in Courtship, anytime I am visiting any of my family with my then girlfriend turned wife, I will tell her what to expect and how to behave there.

    I told my ex when we are visiting my sister not to prove any wife material there, she disobeyed me and wash clothes like kilode🤣🤣🤣🤣.

    Anything that will bring discord between them should be avoidable at all cost.

    4. DON’T DISRESPECT ONE FOR ONE.

    The duties of a mother is distinct from that of a wife.

    That of a sister is also different from that of a wife.

    None should be convoluted for other.

    Therefore, don’t disrespect your family in front or at the back of your wife.

    Don’t disrespect your wife in front or even at the back of family.

    Make sure your spouse respect your family; their likes, dislikes and traditions.

    Make sure also that your family also respect your spouse too; their warts and wattles.

    And that start with respect for everybody.

    5. RESPECT OTHERS SPOUSE TOO.

    You can’t show your brother’s wife pepper and expect yours to give you queen treatment.

    You can’t turn your brother’s wife into your dustbin and expect family members to treat your as golden crown.

    If you want respect for your spouse, respect others people spouse too.

    6. SHOULD IN CASE…

    I know there are some unscrupulous individual who are devil’s advocate in marriage. Should you have that kind of person, tell them you will not take disrepute, disrespect to any party.

    Stand up to any member of your family that you won’t take shits towards your wife. Mean it. Act it.

    Tell your wife you won’t take disrespect from her to your family. Mean it. Stand your ground.

    T for thanks and C for comments.

  • HOW TO PREVENT SPOUSAL REJECTION.

    This post is not for those that court for trial and error. It is for those that have marriage in mind for every courtship they are in.

    Prevention is better than cure.

    I remembered the first person I officially introduced to my parents which happen to be my last date was subtly disapproved by my parents. Infact by everyone in my family.

    Although, I disagreed with them and was adamant that I am gonna marry her until the whole thing crashed. All thanks to my family’s prayers.

    What was I driving at? By third month of our relationship, she has known everyone that is to be known as far as my marital choice is concerned plus my stance till the law of natural selection take place.

    introduce him or her early.

    Because, I could vividly remembered that I was told to be left alone, that the relationship won’t lead anywhere.

    My first date was even instant rejection by her mom from the moment she said, *’mo tigbó, mo tigbà.’

    One of the best way to prevent or maximize or detect such future spousal rejection is to introduce him or her early.

    Before love deepens,

    Before sense is doing you fiam fiam,

    Before you see each other pants (which you shouldn’t even see premarital even if they approve). Parental approval is not Marriage ooo.

    Before *wu wu not take it, introduce your LOML early to them so that they can do all;

    • the disagreement
    • agreement
    • know your stance
    • and for natural law of what will be will be to take its place.

    By introducing them early, if they disagreed, you will have some time to convince them or to check next door.

    If they agreed with you, you can let the natural law of WWBWB to take effect.

    Because it is insane after dating and courting for 2 – 3 years and rejecting many other eligible suitors and boom ,there is rejection!

    Think about the time that may likely be wasted before finding another person or convincing family.

    Think about the resources and data you both have shared.

    Think about the the pains, advantages and disadvantages of rejection, unhappiness and felling of hatred from both parties peradventure you proceed.

    I met my wife’s parents within two weeks of our courtship simply because I don’t what to be part of the stats after some years of butterfly in my tummy.

    Yours may not be two weeks but I will recommend 3 months so that you will know whether to fire on joyfully or to restrategize.

    After being approved and stamped
    👇👇

    My wife’s uncles and siblings.
  • Love is Enough.

    Love is Enough.

    Welcome to another episode of bubble busting and myths debunking.

    We have agreed that instead of you, looking for you for a friend rather than befriending the one you love and Marrying God’s will as the common vocabulary in the Christian circle is not enough for a fulfilling marriage but staying in God’s will is the key.

    In this article, I am debunking the age long myth of love is not enough to run a happy home.

    Before I proceeded, I must confess that I am also a believer in this slogan until my eyes was opened to the real thing.

    Now, let’s agreed on this matter of fact, love is enough to run a happy marriage.

    Lemme say it again; Love is more than enough to maintain a godly home.

    Yes, I agreed that selfish human natures cannot sustain a Christian home but we are not called to love our spouse humanly but as Christ loves His Church. How? The Agape way.

    What are then the characteristics of love that we are called to? The answer is not farfetched. It is near us in the greatest book of all time Bible, part called Apostle Paul First letter to the Corinthians chapter 13, verses 4 – 8,13.

    The Bible described love as follows;

    ⁴Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant,

    ⁵is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs.

    ⁶Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth.

    It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

    ⁸Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.

    ¹³Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love—but the greatest of these is love.

    Now, tell me which relationship will not thrive in the presence of all the attributes highlighted?

    Less, we forget lemme remind you that love is more than enough to run a Christian family.

    If he loves you he won’t abuse you because love finds no joy in unrighteousness.

    If she loves you, she will submit to your leadership because love is not rude.

    If he loves you he will provide for you as the husband and father in the house because love is not self-seeking.

    If LOML loves you, he/she will keep no records of your wrongdoings.

    Finally, lemme remind you that love as outlined in 1 Corinthians 13 is more than enough for our marriage, courtship and relationship.

    T for thanks, C for the comment and S for share.

    Scripture quotation from Christian Standard Bible (CSB)

  • God’s will is not enough.

    God’s will is not enough.

    This month is for clearing and busting bubbles and myths about relationships, marriage and Courtship.

    Bust the first bubble here

    Today, we will puncture the balloon of ‘all what I need for a happy marriage is to marry God’s will’

    To start with, in Agricultural practices, we have various farming operations namely; pre-planting, planting, post-planting, harvesting and post-harvesting operations.

    The first bubble, how many of us know what is God’s will and how many of us have limited Divine will to marital choice only?

    Now, let’s assume all of us know what is God’s perfect plan for us concerning marital choices but do you know that that doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage.

    Why? Because marrying assumed God’s will is pre-planting operations; something that must be done before marriage and I hope everyone agrees with me that a good pre-planting operation doesn’t mean that a farm will be good. Other operations must be performed to have a good harvest.

    Marrying your God’s ordained spouse is pre-planting operations combing these operations with other operations is what makes a marriage happy.

    Such operations like;

    • Appreciating your spouse.
    • Constant forgiveness
    • Affirmative display of love
    • Prayers
    • Good sex
    • Effective communication
    • Tolerance
    • Etc.

    Doing the former while neglecting the latter is what turned a Christian home into an unattended garden which will soon be run over with weeds of malice, stalled communication, bickerings, etc. This is why some Christians are enduring their union. Not because they allegedly mismarry but because they hand off their marriages almost immediately after their wedding.

    The second reason why the myth doesn’t work is that even God’s will for your life is still a human being.

    And the third reason is; that you have to marry a kind person.

    T for thanks and C for the comment.

  • Your friend won’t marry you.

    Your friend won’t marry you.

    Let’s burst a bubble! There are many myths you might have heard about Courtship and Marriage which are half-truths and outright lies. So I am gonna take a couples of days to burst some bubbles.

    Today the first bubble to burst is the bubble of marrying your friend i.e., someone you have known for years.

    Free photo library.

    Lemme start like this, if I asked you to name your friends, you would probably be mentioning those you had known from 7, 10, 20, 30 years ago.

    So if you are thinking of marrying your friend, you may have to wait and build friendship for a long period of time. A plan dangerous for two reasons.

    For a start, guys, none of your female friends is ready to date or marry you. Not because you are not lovely, up-to-taste or no feellings, but because of familiarity complex.

    She knew you probably from diapers and you too knew her.

    Two, only one out of ten couples actually marry their longtime friend. The remaining ones BEFRIEND their spouse.

    Now, since you won’t have time to build quality friendship because it takes time and resources, what are you going to do? Are you gonna marry a total stranger or an enemy?

    Not at all, but instead of forming niceness, rendering unsolicited helps, advices and visits, commenting epistels on his/her post, etc, for someone you have feelings for, SPEAK UP ( in Nigerian parlance, TOAST HIM/HER) and then BEFRIEND your choice, provided you have your choice’s neccesary bio. Bio such as:

    • original and official name
    • Religious and church affiliation ( I mean real, offline and physical church he/she attends)
    • Genotype
    • Mentors
    • Etc.

    Lastly, another reason you won’t have time to build credible friendship is that another guy is around the corner who is not ready to observe the rule of friendship or you think na only your eye she dey enter?🥰🥰🥰

  • New Channel Alert – You must Read this!

    New Channel Alert – You must Read this!

    NEW CHANNEL ALERT

    Hi, dear
    I hope this meet you well?

    I’m so delighted to announce to you that I just launched my channel on YouTube🥰🙈

    This is a relationship channel where I’d be uploading top notch Relationship ideas every week, ranging from Friendship, Courtship and Dating.

    I’d love you to please subscribe and put on the notification bell just to support me and make sure you engage my videos.

    Here’s the link to my channel👇
    Moments with Jo

    Thank you so much for your support💙
    God bless you.

  • Somebody’s child will love you.

    Somebody’s child will love you.

    Happy new year. May you have a good year.

    Did you trying finding love last year and it didn’t work or you intended that some love should find but the search didn’t materialize?

    My brother or sister, don’t panic. Read this story of mine and put your mine at rest.

    The story goes this: I remembered telling this story before on Facebook.


    The story of a girl who came to my workplace for Teaching Practice.


    The lady is a Christian, educated, skillful and both of us were 100% singularly single as at then.

    Infact, I have 9/10 assurance that if I asked her out, she will obliged.


    But I didn’t. Why? I just don’t feel towards her. I can’t just say what happened, I just know I don’t jelly toward her.

    Fortunately, my LOML has the same skill set as my wife – bag making among others thing that my own do like event management, catering, teen coaching, etc.

    Sorry for digressing.
    The lady I didn’t ‘love’ became someone’s wife last November.

    The lady I didn’t felt for is now somebody’s son heartbeat.

    The lady my heart wasn’t jelly towards today has found someone whose heart has melted for her.

    What I didn’t like, someone love it.

    Even I, was rejected by 17 ladies but I thank God that my wife was 10x better than all of them in all manners.

    That someone did not see the gold embedded in your soil didn’t and wouldn’t diminish the gold in you.


    Somebody’s kid definitely will mine you one day.

    A farmer sees crop to bring out of the soil while a geographer is thinking of bringing out precious stones from the same piece of land. None is wrong and none of them is right, training differs.

    Somebody’s son will love you.

    Somebody’s daughter will be your wife.

    Somebody’s kid will employ you

    Somebody’s siblings will help you.

    Somebody’s child will find you one day.

  • 10 LIES ABOUT GOD’S WILL CONCERNING MARRIAGE (PART 2).

    Source: Google

    6. He/she speaks on the tongue

    Is it a sin to blast in tongue, sing, prophesy or display any spiritual fruit? not! Displaying one or two spiritual gifts is good but the best is displaying spiritual fruits as listed in Galatians 5:22-23.

    …display of gift without accompanying display of fruits is showmanship at its best.

    That a potential partner display a particular gift doesn’t automatically translate him/her into a good hubby or a good wife because the display of a gift without an accompanying display of fruits is showmanship at its best.

    Don’t fall for showmanship because inside the present church is a demon-filled sister who prophesies, fornicating brothers who see sisters as sexual conquest medals who teach, born-against pastor, corrupt men and women in the choir, men and women with questionable salvation experiences in high positions in the church, so be careful.
    That he/she displays the gift does not mean he/she will be a profitable partner in marriage, the question is is he/she bearing the fruit?
    GOD want you to marry but He doesn’t want you to be miserable in it.

    7. God understand that we are in the 21st century

    Yes, God knows we are in the 21st century and He also knows if we will live to the 22nd century but He doesn’t understand teachings, doings, actions, and postulation associated with this century that are not consistent with His word.
    He doesn’t understand the reason for premarital sex even though that is the norm now.
    He doesn’t understand why you want to submit to unholy sexual invites because Joseph had shown him that it is possible to control one’s urge.
    He doesn’t understand why you become arrogant now because you are now an undergraduate Daniel, and his friends have proven to him that it is possible to be humble, good-looking, and intelligent and still be Christian.
    He doesn’t understand why you want to trade the body for material gains because Mary had shown him that beauty is not a hindrance to godliness.
    God doesn’t understand irresponsibility because Joseph and Timothy have demonstrated to Him that you can be youthful and useful to the church and society.
    What God understands is that His word stands for all ages, cultures and centuries and that if you have transgressed there is a space for you for repentance.

    GOD can’t disown His word for anybody for any reason at any time…God cannot and will not tell you to go and marry an unbeliever even if there are no believing brothers again...

    8. God told me to marry an unbeliever

    God cannot say one thing in the bible and told you to discard his written word. His word is binding on Him. GOD can’t disown His word for anybody for any reason at any time.

    God cannot and will not tell you to go and marry an unbeliever even if there are no believing brothers again ( and He has promised to be your husband self) because He has said ‘do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever and two, nobody becomes a Christian simply because he/she marries a Christian or by going to church. An unbelieving partner is like one aching teeth in your mouth which will eventually cause a bad ache to the entire mouth later if not treated (treatment for an unbeliever is a dose of acceptalin Jesus Christ).
    The only message God has for you to unbelievers is the message of salvation not of marriage.

    9. There is only one man/woman for me

    GOD has indeed destined one particular woman/man as your wife/husband but your marital life is not tied to that particular person because for every Saul and Judas that is fumbling there is always a better David and Mattias to replace them.
    If truly you are led by God to go and met Joke and she said no, report back to GOD for the next line of actions which may be; wait for that person or go to another person. Just report back to GOD and don’t make any move without His binding to do so.
    What if the person dies? Does that mean you are doomed?

    Your marital life is not tied to a single man/woman but to GOD – the originator and sustainer of marriage.

    Absolutely NO! because for every dead and faithful Samuel, there are faithful Nathan, Isaiah, Ezekiel, and Joel still living who will be equally faithful and for every Elijah caught up in the whirlwind, there is Elisha who will do double of his work and 50 sons of prophets still living.

    Your marital life is not tied to a single man/woman but to GOD – the originator and sustainer of marriage.

    10. God’s will is only in marriage

    Pure lie. God’s will is not only in marriage it cut across all areas of our life. Be it any type of relationship, business, marriage, social life, finances, speech, etc, there is God’s standard required therein as stated in the bible but the problem is that many of us often relegated God to one corner in most areas of human endeavours and few of us remember him when we want to marry with resultant dullness in our spiritual sensitivity to how He speaks.
    There is God’s will you must try to know about that university you intend to go to, a particular course you will, who you can be friends with, places you can go and cannot go, what you can eat, wear, read, how you speak, etc. Try to know His mind in other areas of your life too to experience an all-around successful life.
    Remember that knowing and doing God’s will is not only in marriage but in all areas of life.

    For part 1 click this link GOD’S WILL CONCERNING MARRIAGE (PART 1).

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