If you are a man with a stable job (you go out and come home daily with an assurance of money whether daily, weekly, or monthly), a faithful fiancee with an equally stable job and desire by both to marry but you are afraid, hear my story.
Two days, after saying yes to me, my wife suggested that we should married in 3 months time, which coincidentally is our birth month and some days shy of our birth dates.
I laughed. Because as of then, I don’t think I have a thousand naira in savings and the only tangible property I got was my techno pop 4. So where I am going to get money for a wedding talk less of marriage? My fear was not even the wedding because I can’t clothe, feed and house my wife and kids with I love you. I can’t.
But something dropped in my mind – here is a lady who is ready to combine resources, doesn’t want to waste my time, and is a spec, why delay when God has prospered my way?
I obliged with my fiancee now wife and by the grace of God and the help of our parents, siblings, mentors, and friends, we were legally wedded on the purposed and proposed date. Hallelujah.
Have I gotten more money since then? Not yet a millionaire but all my fears then were non-existent. It is not as bad as I anticipated. We are not there yet but at least we are not where we are then.
In this small journey, we have recorded many successes.
Olòrun nbo àsírí effortlessly.
The two of us have never been broke together. I still blame myself for marrying ‘late’ 😄😄
Therefore be inspired by my story and the stories of many other married men out there, go and plan your wedding. Just make sure you no do pass yourself. I believed strongly you won’t regret it.
Because even if you gather all the monies this year, inflation still dey next year.
Thanks for attending my Ted talk and I look forward to seeing your IV.
One of the sacrosanct pieces of advice you will hear from people when you are preparing for marriage is, ‘do not involve a third party in your marital affair.’ in a bid to protect your home.
Thank God Rev. Adewole didn’t give me such advice and I am not buying into that advice because we have family mentors who guide us on things that have to do with marriage.
The number one reason, although marriage is a personal and private affair but it is not a secret society where secrecy is the order of the day.
Dear reader, there is nothing you are doing in courtship and marriage that nobody shouldn’t hear.
By hearing, I didn’t mean social media broadcasting of everything happening inside your home or washing your clean and dirty linen in front of every Tom, Dick, and Harry. I mean your spouse and you have a senior accountability partner you reported to.
Furthermore, the reason why most nuptials pack up as a result of trivial issues is that most of such crises are beyond repair before they reach the marriage counselor’s office. If they have godly oversight over their home, such oversight could have guided them in handling crises.
Two, you haven’t married before. You probably haven’t given birth before. You haven’t lived up close with a pregnant woman before. You don’t probably know how to satisfy your partner sexually and we have godly couples who have successfully scaled all these stages and seasons of marriage.
Why not make use of their lessons and mistakes?
Why the trial and error approach?
If not for the guidance of our mentors, my family may have given way.
If not for the teaching of a third party we reported to, I would have hated my wife during the first trimester.
Thirdly, why live a life of irresponsibility?
In conclusion, a third party should not be an immature believer, young couple, or unmarried individual but rather a godly, mature, and old couple with verifiable evidence of a Christian family.
Dear, don’t let me waste your time because you will never find a perfect human being. Even you is far from being perfect.
You won’t find a perfect situations.
So because there is no perfect courtship and Marriage anywhere.
I said again, there is no perfect courtship but despite the imperfection, you can build a happy relationship. The best of God’s will is still an imperfect human being
In spite of our limitation, two imperfect human beings can build a great home.
Despite imperfection, we have Joseph who said, ‘ how can I do this thing and sin against God.’ We have Manoah, Abraham, David, the Apostles, etc. They are all humans like us.
Therefore don’t say we are all imperfect and go and date wicked sister.
Bro, don’t say because we are all human beings, you will be planning settling down with an irresponsible sister.
Imperfection doesn’t mean you should make unkind, ungodly ungrateful and entitled someone, your spouse.
Topic 1 – Dear Woman, this is why my wife hated me during pregnancy
Welcome to my Blog. Thanks for following, sharing and commenting. I love you all.
Now, this series tagged The Tales of A Nursing Dad (#talesofaNursingDad) is aimed at telling the stories of pregnancy from a man’s perspective using my wife’s pregnancy and our nursing adventures as example. After all, we are nursing for my little jewel, Zoe Mofifólúwa together and it will run for as many series as possible both here, on YouTube and Facebook.
Now, Dear woman, I beg you in the name of the Lord and His mercies, by all means, possible, do this thing called marriage with a godly, kind, and responsible man.
Pregnancy is another reality on its own and it requires the joint efforts of both intending mum and dad to successfully and easily carried it to full term.
Pregnancy changed my wife’s physique. Her legs swell. She was vomiting for 3 months nonstop during the first intake and I can factually tell you that between the first and the second, her body didn’t return to the pre-pregnancy era. It will change yours too therefore you need an understanding man beside you who is assuring you your physicality doesn’t matter. You are carrying his baby.
My wife’s emotion was played with by pregnancy hormones. She will be happy in the morning before evening, the mood has swung to what she can not even explain. My wife was not insulting but let’s just leave what happened during those beautiful periods. Dear sister, hormones will play tricks on you during gestation, you need a good man beside you who knows that what is happening to you is beyond you.
Furthermore, many unpleasant things will happen during pregnancy. Your face may swell. Legs may follow suit. You may vomit throughout. I even heard a lady who coughed for 9 months nonstop. You make become what you can’t describe. You may be happy in the morning, moody in the afternoon, and sad at night or vice versa. Your mental, spiritual, and physical health will not be spared either. What can make the journey easy, comforting, soothing, and worthwhile for you is the presence of a kind and understanding hubby.
Lastly, dear woman, I am repeating myself, marriage is enough stress than doing it with an ungodly man and pregnancy is further stressful than planning to do alone or unkind man.
I hope you hear me well and clearly. Tomorrow is for another day, another tale.
English 🇬🇧🇺🇸: Hi, everyone. I am using this medium to wish everyone a Happy Easter. May the power of Resurrection works mightily for you in Jesus name.
Courtesy: Youversion Bible App
French 🇫🇷 : Salut tout le monde. J’utilise ce média pour souhaiter à tous de Joyeuses Pâques. Que la puissance de la résurrection agisse puissamment pour vous au nom de Jésus.
Arabic 🇸🇦🇲🇦 مرحباً جميعاً. أنا أستخدم هذه الوسيلة لأتمنى للجميع عيد فصح سعيد. عسى أن تعمل قوة القيامة بقوة من أجلك باسم يسوع.
Yoruba 🇳🇬🇧🇯🇨🇺 Mo n lo alabọde yii lati ki gbogbo eniyan ku Ọdun ajinde Kristi. Jẹ ki agbara Ajinde ṣiṣẹ nla fun ọ ni orukọ Jesu.
Igbo 🇳🇬 Ndewo, onye ọ bụla. Ana m eji usoro a na-ekele onye ọ bụla obi ụtọ Ista. Ka ike nke Mbilite n’ọnwụ rụọ ọrụ nke ukwuu n’aha Jizọs.
Hausa 🇳🇬🇬🇭🇨🇲🇳🇪 Sannu, kowa. Ina amfani da wannan kafar don yiwa kowa fatan alkhairi. Bari ikon tashin matattu ya yi aiki da ƙarfi a gare ku cikin sunan Yesu.
China 🇨🇳 大家好。 我正在使用这种媒介祝大家复活节快乐。 愿复活的力量奉耶稣的名为你效力。
German 🇩🇪 Hallo allerseits. Ich nutze dieses Medium, um allen frohe Ostern zu wünschen. Möge die Kraft der Auferstehung im Namen Jesu mächtig für Sie wirken.
Hebrew 🇮🇱 שלום כולם. אני משתמש במדיום הזה כדי לאחל לכולם חג פסח שמח. מי ייתן וכוחה של תחיית המתים יפעל עבורך בעוצמה בשם ישוע.
Thank God for the blessings of godly teachings by His servants and the gifts of powerful Christian writers through books, I can realistically say, nothing caught me unaware in my marital experiences.
My expectations weren’t dashed because they have been pruned through the experience and knowledge of Christian authors who write on marriage and relationships.
Dear, reading books on marriage will save you and your marriage before it even begins as you won’t be able to learn everything about marriage during premarital counseling.
But get this right from the start; it’s not by reading books but by applying the principles therein
Now, let me recommend 12 of such fantastic books:
1. Bible
The best book you should read in preparation for marriage is your Bible.
In this Greatest Book of All Time, God, the creator of the beautiful union called Marriage has already told you everything He has to tell you and everything you ought to know about marriage, parenting, sex, romance, and life generally.
Matter of fact, any other books you want to read about marriage should be about the explanation of what the Word of God said about a specific subject matter. No addition or subtraction.
Furthermore, I urged you to try to read it through, i.e., Genesis to Revelation, at least, once before you settle down to having a family because you might not have the opportunity later.
How can you achieve that? If you read 3 chapters per day, you will cover all the chapters in a year, and if you need a Bible Reading Plan for A Year, my friend, Oladele Damilare got you covered here.
2. How To Choose a Life Partner – 156 Questions to ask – Bimbo Odukoya.
I read this book over a decade ago and it still ring a bell in me.
This book listed 156 questions you ought to ask in courtship and the likely answers.
3. No More Two; God’s Principles for Marriage – Gbile Akanni.
This godly book by a world renowned pastor and brother talks about how to create a one-plus-one equal-to-one kind of matrimony. Very powerful book.
4. Single without Singe – Segun Ariyo
An insightful book on courtship, sexual purity, dating, and wedding. You can’t read this masterpiece and still be interested in pleasing the crowd during your wedding ceremony.
5. The Tearless Courtship – Alade Joel.
This one was powerfully written to prevent you from constant heartbreak. It takes it up from what is the definition of Christian courtship, the stages of courtship, 50 plays, 50 questions, and ends with the 7 rules of courtship for singles. Read on Amazon here
6. God doesn’t want you to be a virgin – Alade Joel
God’s will and plan for His children about sex is more than being a virgin. Infact it’s not his sole purpose for you to be one rather He demanded more from you.
This book highlights what is God will and purpose for you as a Christian single in this over-sexualized world concerning sex before and after Marriage. Discover here
7. Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married – Gary Chapman.
You have probably heard about 5 love languages by Gary Chapman but to me, though that is his most popular book but Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married is the bomb.
The number one thing you should know now is that like Mother, like Daughter is not a fluke. It is a reality.
This is the book that saved my relationship as it helps pruned all the nonsensical beliefs I had prior having any defined romantic relationship.
8. The 4 Seasons of Marriage; Secrets to a Lasting Marriage – Gary Chapman.
This masterpiece from Dr. Gary literally walk you through all the four seasons of marriage namely Autumn, Spring, Winter, and Summer.
Get it. Read and Apply it.
9. The 5 Love Languages. The Secrets to love that lasts – Gary Chapman.
You have heard about this bestseller that teaches you to speak to your spouse in a love language he or she understands.
A must-read for intending couple
Read and apply diligently.
8. Maintaining Sexual Purity – Sam and Folashade Oloyede.
Not only have I been under the ministration of these authors several time but they are also our family mentor and this point outlined in this book was a guiding light during my days weaknesses.
Among Christians, sexual purity is the norm, the standard and the code but how do you cope when it seems everyone is doing it. Get this amazing book and read it via a DM (08135446693).
10. His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage – Willard Harry Jr.
Prevention, they say is better than cure. I just read this and it really bless my understanding. This classic lists 5 things each for a man and woman’s need to prevent your partner from cheating on you.
11. Saving Your Marriage Before it starts – Les and Leslie Parrot.
Do you want to have a happy and fulfilling marriage? If yes, then this book is the right one for you. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is a wonderful book that shows you how your actions today will affect your future marriage.
This book will help you uncover the different myths in marriage, learn how to communicate properly with your spouse, discover the effective way to solve conflicts, manage your finances, and have a great sex life!
12. The Sacred Marriage – What if God Designed Marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy – Gary Thomas.
The idea that marriage is meant primarily to sanctify us has changed my entire view of marriage. God redeems the hard parts of our lives to make us more like Him, and that’s a beautiful way to approach those hardships we all experience in marriage.
Other worthy reads:
13. The power of a praying wife – Stormie Ormatian (for ladies).
14. The Fatherhood Principles – Myles Munroe (for men).
Reflection: Except Saving Your Marriage Before It Begins, (which I promise to read before the end of May), I have read all the aforementioned titles. Now, recommend a book for me and two, how many have your read from this list?
There is a lady in her right sense who is ready to take the plunge with a known abuser.
There is a man who has decided willingly to marry a lazy woman.
Somebody is willing to date that dirty uncouth individual
Even if he or she is the original Satan, someone is willing to do the relationship with such a person.
In fact, for every ‘he is stubborn, he doesn’t listen to anyone,’ someone is saying, ‘I love him.’ ‘She is proud,’ someone is calling her LOML.
He/she is an unbeliever, funnily enough, a supposed believer is ready to be unequally yoked.
But you are not the one. You should never be the one.
But who is perfect? None but the imperfection of humans shouldn’t make you choose the bad from the worst. As far as your marital choice is concerned, it should be selecting the best spouse from the available bests.
Furthermore, they can marry abusers, cheaters, lazy, dirty, unbelieving, and or uncouth individuals but my dear, you should never be part of them. Because you are a Christian and God wants the best for you.
It may be them but it can never be me. It may be them but it can never be my children. It may be them but it should never be you
That is why I am rejecting evil (mo tàka òsì dànù) on your behalf in Jesus name (Amen)
For more prayer points, pre-order by SECURING YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE IT BEGINS here
This scene happened in #Enoch – a biopic of Pastor E. A. Adeboye when she went to tell her dad about the young man asking her out
Daddy Folu: why do you want to marry this guy?
Folu: he is humble and has a sense of duty.
That Folu’s statement is that of someone with purpose, clarity, and picking character over charisma. She didn’t even mention intelligence.
Now, ask many sisters and brothers in our churches today how a godly man/woman fitting for marriage should look and behave, see them listing the attributes of an ungodly celeb.
Dear, a kindhearted individual is far better than a tongue-blasting one.
Why? Because you will need the uses of the fruits of the Spirit than his gifts.
You will need the use of love, tolerance, understanding, kindheartedness, industriousness, etc than you will need the use of raising the dead, speaking in tongues, casting demons out, etc., in your marriage.
I repeat, when shopping for a potential partner, pick the fruit over the gift.
My dear, If she can’t sing, speak in tongue, or preach but she is a real Christian with the fruits, marry her.
Even if you can pinpoint a single gift of the Spirit in him, but you are sure of his salvation experience, he is marriable.
One of the things I don’t joke with as a single (with or without partner) is prayer and one of such prayer is that, God Almighty, wherever my wife is , make it difficult for her to make a future-damaging mistake.
Believe me dear, that prayer was marvelously answered because God actually prevented her from many errors as He prevented me too from future-damaging mistakes.
Why all these stories? The moral is; Your marriage can be protected, preserved, prevented and saved from destiny destroyers, home breakers, potential outlaws that may want to disguise as in-laws, side chicks, sickness and what-have-you before you even have a fiance or fiancee.
You kids can be put under the shadow of the Almighty before you even know who their father or mother will be.
You can settle your partner’s friends, work, your neighbor when married, now before you know them.
You can declare peace, joy, and righteousness into your family now and to shock you you can prevent your partner from making life shattering mistake now like I did for mine.
Here about 20 prayer points from my incoming ebook SECURING YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE IT BEGINS (A PRAYER GUIDE):
Thank you Jesus for a glorious home, you will give me.
Thank you for my spouse and my in-laws. I glorify Your Name because we will be friends.
Over my children and every stage of their lives, hallowed be thy Name in Jesus Name.
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask in Your might Name that every potential partner that will be coming my way will be a godly man/woman
Mighty Jehovah, in the name of Jesus, go into every stage, period and season of my marriage and take preeminence control before my arrival.
I pronounce my marriage yours in Jesus Name.
I pronounce my partner Yours in Jesus Name.
I declared my children Yours in Jesus Name.
Every resource that I needed to be a responsible spouse, I received it in Jesus Name.
I prayed that my marriage will be a springboard for the spread of the Gospel.
Precious Father, strengthen and guard my marriage against the evil one, his schemes and systems in Jesus Name.
Everybody that will be connected to me through marriage will praised You for the union.
Pre-order your own copy through the scanning of the QR code below:
Oh Lord, let Your visits be a constant in my family
I proclaim peace into my marriage.
My spouse’s siblings will know the Lord in Jesus Name.
Give me/us Your Spirit of wisdom and understanding in Jesus Name.
I cancel every generational debts and curse in Jesus Name.
I demolish every evil family pattern from my marriage in Jesus Name.
Thank You for You shall make my family a double harvest of answered prayers in Jesus Name.
Thank You that everything that has to do with my marriage has been settled in Jesus Name
Thank You for the salvation of spouse and kids
All glory, honour, adoration and blessings be unto Your Precious Name in Jesus Name.
To preorder your own copy of SECURING YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE IT BEGINS, click here
Enoch – a Biopic of Pastor E. A. Adeboye is a film biography of Baba Adeboye, the General Overseer of The Redeemed Christian Church of God Worldwide.
It is a must-watch for all Christians of all grades. Click below to watch
Enoch – a biopic of Pastor E. A. Adeboye
I have shared the general lessons from the movies here. Now, here are 5 specific lessons that will be useful for Christian courtship:
1. Let unbelievers marry themselves.
Young Enoch and his young wife Folu were unbelievers when they met and marry. They finally got born again after their nuptials.
I believe it somehow helps their marriage as there won’t be any cases of one disturbing another with his or her spirituality.
Dear you, by experience, I can substantiate to you that Marriage has its own enough stress, do not add the stress of an unbelieving partner. The joy of a Christian family is when both know and are serving God but one uninterested partner can cause problem to the family because his/her life is open to devil to fiddle with.
2. Introduce That Single Brother to another Single Sister or vice versa.
Continuing, I have written about potential places to meet your spouse and I listed through recommendations of friends, family, and mentors. (Read here). Enoch met his wife through his friend, Dele who is Folu’s cousin. Dele even supervised the project of locating her house 😀.
Your pretty single beautiful sister can be introduced to your friend as a potential partner.
Sister, you won’t marry your brother, introduce him to your Christian friend.
You to ask your friend about that single sibling, cousin, or opposite sex friend, colleague, member, etc. Who knows if yours will end like theirs?
3. The Simplest is Christian Courtship.
He asked her to become her wife because to him out of the women he has met, she is priceless. That’s a proposal. A clear statement of purpose.
She accepted after telling him that she will only answer by carrying her family along. This is acceptance. A very clear yes.
Their parents met and they wedded.
Dearest, anything else outside of the above is alien to the Bible.
4. Marriage is the reason.
When Enoch Adejare Adeboye wooed Folu, from day one he declared his intent which is marriage.
Therefore, the first, second, and only reason for courtship among believers is Marriage. Doing a relationship for 3 years, then followed by kneeling to ask the most ridiculous question in the world, will you marry me is not of this kingdom.
I speak more on this and lesson 3 in my book, The Tearless Courtship – a simpler guide for Christian courtship and dating. Download here
5. Simple concise expression is enough.
Enoch asked his lover out with a simple and concise 21-word sentence
My brother, you don’t need 21 days of fasting and prayer plus a dream to woo a lady. Even if you do or have one, keep it with you until it’s necessary to spill it.
Similarly, it doesn’t have to look spectacular to be godly, my dear sister. Your future partner may not come with dreams and trance and but once it comes up in the garb of Christlikeness, don’t delay your answer.
Those are the lessons for your courtship. If you have watched the movie any other lesson? Share with us in the comment section while sharing this post. Thanks
Courtship Forum 